Rude Awakening - Final

The doorbell rang again. 

“Is that Claudia already?” Stacy questioned. 

“Not likely. She’s a psychic, not a magician.” I went to the door. “I’ve got it.”

When I opened the door, Stan held up a six-pack. “It’s a new craft beer I found. Monkey’s Breath. I couldn’t pass it up.”

“Well, of course not. Come on in. I’ll get the mugs.”

Stan stepped into the family room and held up the beer. “Monkey’s Breath.”

“Oh! You sweet talker.” Stacy sipped her coffee. “No thanks, I’ll stick with my dark roast coffee.” 

“Anybody?” Stan set the six-pack on the table. “It’s cold…and there’s no warning label.”

“Oh! Well in that case how can I refuse.” Rocco grabbed a can and pulled it out.

I walked in holding three mugs. “Let’s keep it classy. Here you go.”  I handed one to Stan and another to Rocco. I kept the third knowing Stacy wouldn’t be interested.

“Thanks.” Stan popped open the top and poured the mug full. “A good craft beer always taste better in a mug.” 

“No question about that.” Rocco wiped his lips. “The flavor is bold and it opens up nicely.” 

Stan, Rocco and I relaxed, enjoying the rustic taste of Monkey’s Breath, when the doorbell rang for a third time. We all knew what that meant. Claudia was here.

I rolled the 8-Ball across the floor. Twitch chased it down and brought it back and dropped it at my feet. It was covered with dog drool, so I let it lie. 

Just then Stacy walked in with Claudia. “Hi. It’s nice to see everyone. I hope I can help solve the puzzle.” 

In unison without any planning, we held up our mugs and yelled, “Monkey’s Breath.”

“Well, that’s a greeting I’ve never heard before.”

“Claudia, please ignore them. Men can be such idiots sometimes.”

Stan smiled. “Sorry, we’re just having a little fun.” 

I set my mug down. “Let’s get serious about the puzzle. So, now we have a detective, a writer, a psychic and—"

Stacy laughed, “An irrational anxious paranoid.”

“That’s not fair.” 

“Probably not, but it’s accurate.” 

“Enough. So far, we haven’t solved anything.” I took another swig of my beer. “Mmm, yummy. Stacy and I looked at Waldo but couldn’t come up with anything. Rocco helped us understand the connection between the book and the other items, but without a clear resolution.”

Stacy jumped in. “What about the Magic 8-Ball? Maybe Claudia can help.”

 “Good idea,” I piped up. “Claudia, do you ever use the 8-Ball to make predictions?” 

Stacy put her hands on her hips. “Ben, stop it. Just stop it. Claudia’s here to help.”

“Well, actually I have all sorts of tools.”

“See, I told you.” I picked the ball up gingerly and tossed the toy to Claudia. “Do your thing.”

Claudia caught the ball but quickly dropped it. “Thanks a lot, Ben.” She quickly grabbed  a napkin and cleaned off the saliva. “It doesn’t work quite like that.” Claudia shook the 8-Ball. “But I’ll give it a try.” She held the ball, just above her head and said, “Does Ben sabotage his life by imagining problems when there are none?” 

Claudia flipped over the 8-Ball and it read, “Without a doubt.” She laid the ball on the floor next to Twitch. 

“Hey, I’m not the culprit here,” I explained. “It’s the person that sent the email and package.”

“That’s partially true, but you always have a target on your back,” Stacy said. “You make yourself vulnerable because of your anxiety.”

“I’m not sure you’re right about that.”

Stan weighed in. “You might be missing the obvious, like Waldo. He’s right in front of us but we don’t see him.”

“Yes, it’s hard to see the problem when it’s you.” Rocco walked to the bar and picked up the bourbon. He poured a glass of Rude Awakening and brought it over to Ben. “I wrote the book Head Games under a pen name.”

Stan held up the Where’s Waldo puzzle. “And I spent many years hunting people down, only to find out they were hiding from their self. Finding Waldo got me started finding people.”

Claudia took the 8-Ball from Twitch, “This will never give you the answers you need,” and handed it to me. 

It was covered with drool. “Augh,” I dropped it.

“Payback.” Claudia smiled.

            “Did you plan this?  Everyone seems to be playing a part.” I looked at Stacy. “It feels like an intervention.” 

“Yes, it is and everyone agreed to help. I wanted to do something that would get you to pay attention. Was this a rude awakening?” Stacy picked up her coffee. “Just one thing left, the seminar, Finding Yourself. ”

 “Funny, I see what you did.” I shook my head. “So this is all a trick. No stalkers just . . . my friends. “Claudia, you predicted all this. None of it was a surprise, even the drool.”

“Well, of course not . . . I am a psychic.”

Rude Awakening - Part 4

The next morning a package arrived, but that’s not unusual since most of our shopping is online. I picked up the box and brought it inside without even looking at the address assuming it was another of my wife’s weekly purchases. 

“Hey Hon, there’s a package for you.” 

Stacy yelled from upstairs, “I didn’t order anything. Are you sure it’s for me?”

I flipped the box over and read the label. It was addressed to me, Ben Castle. I scratched my head. It could be something I ordered and forgot about. I’ve done that before and it always turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

Stacy walked in the room. “Is it for me?”

“No, it’s addressed to me.”

“What is it?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“So, open it.” She started to tear the tape off the box. 

“Wait, it could be a bomb!”

“A bomb.” Stacy ripped the box open. “You idiot.”

“Well, it’s too late now, the timer would be already triggered.”

Stacy reached in and started pulling out the contents. As it turned out it wasn’t a bomb but a puzzle of sort, but not the typical kind with pieces that fit together revealing a picture. It contained a book, a Magic 8-Ball, Where’s Waldo picture and ticket to an upcoming concert. There was no message and no instructions on what to do, but I couldn’t stop thinking about each and every piece. “What do you think all this means?”

“This must be the surprise the email mentioned.” Stacy picked up the Where’s Waldo picture. “There he is.” Pointing to Waldo.

“Great, you did it. You solved the riddle.” I laughed. “I’ll sleep well tonight.”

She held her fist up. “You’re such a jerk.” Stacy smiled. “I always loved these Waldo puzzles.”

“Seriously, I need to figure this out.” I rubbed my chin. “It’ll drive me crazy.”

“That’s a short trip.”

“Ha! Are you going to help me, or do I have to do it all myself?” I picked up the book, titled The Head Game and examined it.

“Well for starters why don’t you read the book. There might be some valuable information in it.” Stacy picked up the Waldo picture. “I already solved Waldo.”

Stacy’s suggestion to read the book seemed like a smart idea, so that night I sat in a comfy chair and turned page after page until the end.  I ended up going to bed very late, about 1:30 in the morning.

I slept until 8:30. Stacy was frying eggs, when I walked into the kitchen.

“What did you discover from the book?”

I poured myself a cup of joe. “It was very interesting, but I’m not sure of the relevance. It was a motivational book.”

“Oh! A self-help book.” Stacy flipped an egg. “Yeah, it’s not like you need any help.”

I sipped my coffee. “Really . . . I’ve only got that one little problem. You know, the paranoia thing.”

“Yes, dear. I’m aware.” Stacy sipped her coffee. “The little thing that rules your life.”

“I think I’ve made some progress.”

“Oh, sweetie! You need to reread a few chapters.”

“Okay. Okay. But I don’t see how it relates to this scenario.”

She opened the book and spotted the initials, TG written inside the book cover. “I wonder what that means.

“It’s a used book. Who knows what it means. I’m sure it’s not related to anything.”

Stacy held up the Magic 8-Ball. “Let’s try to figure how this fits into the puzzle.”

I took the ball shook it and asked. ”Am I in danger?” Then I turned it over. It read, Signs point to yes. “Well, that can’t be good.”

Stacy grabbed the ball then jiggled it, “Is my husband an idiot?” It read, It is decidedly so. “Well, it got that one right.” 

“Ha! You’re so funny.”

“I don’t think the ball is going to give you the answers.” She set the ball down. “It’s just one of the puzzle pieces. You must figure out how they relate to each other.”

I picked it up and asked. “My wife seems to know all the answers. Is she ever going to listen to me?” The response - Outlook not so good.

Stacy smiled and leaned in. “Let’s think about this logically. A stranger wouldn’t go through all this trouble. There has to be somebody who knows something about you.”

“Hmm! That makes sense, but who would do this? A practical joker?”

“Let’s look at each of the clues closely and see if they lead us anywhere. Start here.” Stacy picked up, Where’s Waldo? and handed it to me.

“Okay, we’ll brainstorm.” I grabbed a pencil and paper. “What are some things we know about Waldo.”

She said, “He wears a red and white striped shirt and a bobble hat.”

“Black glasses, big ears and goofy smile.” I shrugged. “So how does this help us. Everyone knows what Waldo looks like.”

“Then why is he so hard to find?”

“He hides in crowds. You have to channel your inner detective to find him.”

Stacy waved a hand. “Okay enough of Waldo, for now. Let’s look at another clue . . . the book.” 

I shrugged. “As I said, the book was interesting but what clue does it provide?”

“Seems to me that it’s directly connected to you.”

The doorbell rang. Stacy looked at me. “Are you expecting anyone?”

“No, do you have another Amazon delivery?”

“No, maybe it’s another clue from your new BFF.” Stacy walked toward the door. “I’ll get it.” She opened the door and greeted Rocco and Twitch. “Please come in.”

I looked up as Twitch ran toward me. “Perfect timing.” I waved Rocco over. “You might be able to help with the puzzle we’re working on.”

The four items were already laid out on the floor. I held up the book. “This is the one we’re working on now, but I’ll accept your help on any of them.”

“I just stopped by to bring you some cilantro from my garden.” Rocco held a bunch in his hand. “But I’ll be happy to look at your puzzle.” He stared closely at each item.

I anxiously waited to hear what he had to say. “What do you think?”

“Well, these three,” he pointed to Waldo, the 8-Ball and Head Games. “Two are actual books and the third is written about in many books.”

“What about the concert tickets to an event called, Finding Yourself?

“I don’t know if there’s a book about finding yourself, but it relates to the book, Head Games, which is about motivation. In a way, it also relates to Waldo, because it’s as hard to find yourself as it is Waldo.”

  “Whoa! That’s deep.” Stacy handed Rocco a cup of coffee. “We should have called you earlier.”

“Writers have a different way of looking at things. You look for the obvious, we look for the unexpected.” Rocco sipped the coffee. “What is this game we’re playing?”

“This is all the stuff Ben received from his stalkers?” 

“I received an ominous email telling me that I was in danger. I guess this box of stuff is supposed to give me a clue on what the danger is.” I leaned back in my chair. “But, we can’t figure it out.”

Stacy added. “Yet. We can’t figure it out yet.”

“You need someone who has a special mental ability.” Rocco scratched Twitch’s head.

Stacy smiled. “Oh! You mean like a psychic? I know someone that could help us in that department.”

“Well, I agree . . . Claudia certainly is mental.”

“Come on. Stop it. Rocco has helped with the puzzle, but maybe Claudia could take us further.” She picked up her phone. “I’ll call her.”

“Really, is that necessary?”

Rocco stirred his coffee. “In all fairness Ben, you never know what someone with a different outlook can do for you.”

“I know, but__” 

“Okay, Claudia will be over in ten minutes.” Stacy hung up the phone. “Can you stick around for awhile?”

Rocco lifted his cup for a refill. “I’ve got nothing going on all day.”

Rude Awakening - Part 3

I left Starbucks and stopped at Schnucks that’s when I ran into Rocco. “Nice to see a friendly face.” 

“Thanks, nice to see you as well.” 

Twitch wagged his tail, so I reached down to pet him. “If you’re not busy tonight, you should come over for dinner and bring your pup. I’d like you to meet my family.”  

“That’s very kind, thank you. I don’t want to impose.” 
            “It’s not an imposition. My wife loves having guests and the kids will have fun with Twitch,”.  

“Thanks. What time?” 

“How about five? That’ll give us time to relax with a drink before dinner.” I texted Rocco my address. We waved goodbye. 

I called Stacy to tell her I invited Rocco over for dinner. She had never met him but was always up for having visitors. I mean, if I have to put up with Claudia then she certainly shouldn’t have a problem with my new writer friend. 

Soups are my wife’s go to choice for easy meals in the cold months. She loves soup. When I arrived home, she had a pot simmering on the stove. Stacy found a recipe on online for Jersey Stew. Weird, but she’s always looking for new soups to make, so it could be a coincidence. I sensed this was a recipe idea inspired by Claudia. Maybe my paranoia was getting the best of me. 

Rocco and Twitch showed up right on time. Twitch wore a saddlebag on his back, containing a gift to share with us, a bottle of Rude Awakening and three bourbon glasses. “What a smart and generous dog.” 

“It was his idea.” Rocco chuckled. I laughed, then introduced Rocco to Stacy and the kids. Both kids cuddled Twitch and asked if they could take him to their room. 

Rocco said, “Of course. He loves the attention.” 

I guided Rocco to the family room and poured two small glasses of bourbon. I handed one to him. We chatted a few minutes before my paranoia surfaced. I told Rocco about all my worries. He listened quietly and said. “This will require a longer discussion. It would be best if we meet for lunch this week. Your concerns may be exaggerated.”  

There was no doubt this was true.  

Stacy came in to tell us dinner was ready. She had made croissant sandwiches to have with the Jersey Stew. Surprisingly, the stew was very tasty and paired quite well with the croissandwiches. 

After dinner, the three of us spent about two hours talking. Stacy loves to read and was intrigued by my friends occupation, so it wasn’t a surprise that she found Rocco interesting. We learned how he became a writer and his writing routine. Interesting and fun evening. They headed home early but Rocco promised to invite us over to his house soon. 

“This is great! Now, we have two new friends and they both have amazing jobs.” Stacy paused. “So many hidden secrets in this small town.” 

“Yeah . . . two? Rocco and who?” 

“Claudia, you goof.” 

“Well, Rocco has a real job. Claudia’s a fortune teller, so . . .”  

“You need to get over it. She’s my friend and she’s coming over for coffee tomorrow.” Stacy crossed her arms. “It’s a surprise. I’m going to introduce her to my friends in the cooking club.” 

“That should be fun.” I smiled. “Oh, but she’s a psychic . . . so she already knows.” 

“You’re such a jerk.” 

I met Rocco for lunch at Bemo’s the following week. Although I had never been there before, Rocco was a regular, so we were allowed to sit and chat as long as necessary without any interruptions. I opened up to Rocco about my deepest concern and talked about my suspicions.  

Rocco said, “Psychics are real, but I’m not sure if Claudia is a psychic. She could be a fraud, but she’s certainly not dangerous.” 

Talking about my problems and quirks gave me some relief. It felt like a cleansing, when you had the right person to listen. I knew I was paranoid, and prone to believe all the negative self-talk. I was right to trust Rocco. His advice was solid as I expected and worthy of my consideration.  

*** 

Stacy worried about Ben and needed a plan to turn his anxious behavior to a positive by 

exposing him to the truth. She was a practical joker. You would never know that by her demeanor, but it was something left over from her college days. She had tricked Ben a few times in the past and always brought him back to reality. A shock much like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on your head, but it brought him back and reset his anxiety clock, even made him laugh. This time Stacy would need a partner, a cohort. So, she made a call to her new friend. “Hey Claudia, this is Stacy. I have a favor to ask of you.” 

“Glad to help. What do you need?” 

“It would be better if I explained in person,” Stacy replied. “Are you busy now?” 

“No, my schedule is pretty open.” 

“Great! Come on over. I just put some cinnamon rolls in the oven.” 

Claudia giggled. “I love cinnamon rolls. See you soon.” 

*** 

I received an email this morning that said I was on a list. But what kind? Not a list of prize winners. More like a warning, but for what? The email couldn’t be tracked, but stated I was third on the list. No other names were mentioned. This, of course only, ramped up my worries. I can flip to paranoia in a nanosecond. Was this some kind of sick game? I can’t imagine anyone doing this to me. 

Stacy was more level-headed than me, so I showed her the message and asked for her opinion. She frowned as she read the message. “This is weird, but it sounds like a prank or dare by a teenager.” She brushed her hair back. “People are doing a lot of crazy stuff these days. It’s probably nothing, but it might make sense to let Stan look at this. He still has contacts at the police station.” 

“Thanks, that’s a good idea.” I relaxed my shoulders. “He may be aware of crank emails like this.” 

“Oh! And Claudia. You should show the email to her.” 

My shoulders tensed again. “Yeah, I definitely won’t do that, but I’d let Rocco take a look.” 

“Why Rocco and not Claudia?” 

“I trust Rocco, and value his life experiences. Claudia creeps me out.” 

“You are too suspicious. People aren’t out to get you. It’s all in your head.” 

I didn’t say a thing. I just waved goodbye with the printed copy and walked out the door. Stan was washing his car in the driveway. I held the copy over my head, “Hi Stan. I wanted to get your opinion on this suspicious note I received.”  

He wiped his hands on his pants then took the copy. When he finished, he said, “It’s very likely a prank. There’s a lot of stuff like this going on these days.” He handed it back to me. “Think about it logically. Why would they be warning you of danger? That would put you on guard, unless the goal is to scare the crap out of you.” Stan turned off the hose. “If so, that seems to be working.” “To be safe, I’ll take this copy to the station to see if they’ve heard about any pranks like this. Unless you can track the, it’s unlikely you’ll ever find the culprit.” 

“I would appreciate knowing more.” 

 “I’ll ask around and let you know what I find out.” Stan took the email copy back. “The only thing I worry about is that these silly pranks sometimes turn into real threats.” 

I scowled “That’s comforting, thanks.” 

I thought about the list all day, threatening my sanity. I hoped Stan would come back with information that my paranoid mind could absorb and calm the crazy scenarios I’d concocted. 

Later in the day, Stan came by to tell me what he found out. “Ben, I wouldn’t worry about this email, unless of course you receive a second one.” 

“Okay, so just some prank. Something kids do these days?” 

Stan handed the copy back to me. “That’s the read on it. The guys at the station see a lot of this stuff, and it rarely progresses into a real crime.” 

I raked my fingers through my hair. “That helps. But what if I get another message?”  

“It’s doubtful that would happen, but if so let me know.” Stan continued, “It’s logged in as an incident, so they could do a follow-up.” 

I felt better the rest of the day, knowing that Stan was on top of this. 

The remainder of the day was uneventful, and this helped me forget about my concerns. During dinner Stacy asked if I had received any new emails. 

“To be honest I haven’t checked. Stan said it was unlikely, so I hope he’s right. I’ll check later.” 

Stacy said reassuringly, “Knowing there is none would calm your nerves.” 

“Yes, but right now I’m doing fine. I don’t want to poke the bear.” 

“That makes sense.” 

Once the kids went to bed, I relaxed with a glass of Rude Awakening while Stacy read one of Rocco’s mystery novels. I needed a good night’s sleep, so I decided to wait until the morning to look at my email, in case there was a second message from my prankster pen pal. 

*** 

Stacy was up before me and had brewed a pot of coffee. I poured a cup and sat down at the kitchen table. My morning routine consisted of playing Wordle, then checking email before reading the news. The word of the day was prank. Interesting! A coincidence or a sign? This reminded me to check my messages. 

I pulled up my account and found a second email which reignited my paranoia. It said a surprise will be coming soon. This put me on edge, so I told myself that a surprise could be good, but I’m not a convincing liar.  

Stacy tried to calm me down, but that was like trying to put out a forest fire with a water gun. She left me to sulk around the house all day until I finally talked myself out of the funk.