When do you start listening?

I’m seventy-seven so I’m sure my hearing isn’t as good as it used to be, but it’s not terrible. At least that’s what I believe. The thing is I’ve been listening to conversations my whole life, and some are more interesting than others. As a result, I’m not always in the listening mode, sometimes I’m just zoning out. So I think it would be helpful to have a lead in phrase, before the real question or conversation. You know something that triggers the mind to start listening. This could be a lot of different things, maybe a shout, “Hey! Listen up” or “Watch out”. There are an endless number of phrases, you’ll have to decide what works for you. 

     Truly, zoning out is something I do more of lately, so the first five words are gone before I hit the listening button. It’s not really my hearing it’s just that I haven’t gotten into my listening mode. Sometimes using a key word in the lead in phrase might be enough to jar the person into a listening mode. Key words to consider for men are beer, guitar, cigar and sports car. Use any of these key words as part of the lead-in phrase and you should get an immediate response. “Honey, can I get you a beer?” or “Don’t you need a knew guitar? Women on the other hand might respond better using words like diamonds, dinner or cruise. You’ll have to learn what works best by trial an error.

     Also, it’s extremely difficult when a conversation is continued from an earlier one. To men it’s always a new topic, not one from an hour or even five minutes ago. Remember our resting position is zoning out. A women’s brain is always active. It’s not a bad thing just different.

     I guess the bottom line is don’t write off the other person as someone who’s hard-of-hearing just because you haven’t started the conversation with an interesting phrase or key word. “Just saying . . .”

Acceptance

All our life we are told to never give up, keep trying, don’t give in. Movies are made about people who achieve greatness through perseverance. Usually, a physical challenge that seems unattainable in someway. This is good advice but it’s not always the right advice. 

     Sometimes you have to accept that you can no longer do what you did in your thirties or forties. This should not be considered a fault or failure and it won’t happen to everyone at the same age. It’s one of life’s changes, one of many. Don’t worry you will always have challenges, physical, mental and spiritual, but there will come a time when you might need to let go of old challenges to take on new challenges. This is acceptance, consider it growth. One of these new challenges may lead to the greatness you seek. 

     Never give up seeking challenges, but don’t hold on too long to an old one or you might miss a new one that will take you across the finish line. “Just Saying . . .”

Time Traveler

I dream of things no one mentions 

Life unbounded by time 

A life I designed

World of adventure

Intrigue

 

I travel alone with Past and Future as my friends

Looking for problems and solutions

Anxious for the future

While knowing the past

I see endless possibilities

 

Challenges are many

Changes come slow

Rewards justified by results

Time is always moving

I have no bounds 

 

The Future is forward

Past is behind

I am part of both    

Each with struggles 

Victories too

 

Life untethered by time

No beginning or end

In-between

I live life unstructured

In the Past and Future

 

Words and their Intentions

Using words like racist, nazi, bigot and white supremacist are aggressive words that are intended to offend a person and invoke anger. Most times this method works and you get a volatile response. This is not a surprise because these days everyone is ultra-sensitive and offended easily even if the words used are not intended to offend.

     My first suggestion is not easy, because it’s opposes your knee-jerk reaction to return fire, so to speak. But I am suggesting that you don’t take offense if someone uses aggressive words (intentionally or unintentional) against you. Doing so will defuse their attack and deflate their argument. Speak calmly deny the accusation, then walk away. Debating someone that refuses to listen to an opposing viewpoint is futile.

     The second suggestion is directed to President Trump and our politicians on both sides of the aisle. Stop using aggressive words and phrases. They have no place in an advanced society and they make you look and sound uneducated. You represent our country, do it in an honorable way. 

     Changes are needed in this country, we can all do better. Let’s start now and come to the table to talk about our differences, like adults. Charlie Kirk was murdered this week because a misguided young man didn’t like his opinions. In this country we have the right of free speech. Both Charlie and the students were on a college campus exercising their rights. Don’t let our rights be taken away. “Just Saying . . .”

What makes life so difficult?

Life starts out with struggles. Being born is a struggle, learning to talk and walk. Everything is new but a child’s determination drives them toward independence. They don’t see things as struggles but challenges.

     It’s not until we get older, that we make life more difficult by wrong choices. You’d think all those years of experience would teach us better. Sure, we all make bad decisions. That’s just part of life, but if we continue down that path, it becomes the baseline for our life choices until we no longer recognize or care about the difference.

     Each day gives us new opportunities to make better decisions. Don’t let the repetitive behavior turn on the auto-pilot guiding you down the wrong path. It’s easy to blame someone or something else for the predicament you’re in, but that’s weak. Your influence best serves you when it’s used to direct your life, not other's. Yes, you can have influence on others, but your success rate will be far less than changes you can make to yourself.

     Bad decisions will get you notoriety, but not positive. Life is hard enough, don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Just Saying. . .”

Walk-away Reward

There’s a new sandwich shop in town. I love to try new places, especially sandwich shops and this one is a winner. They have a gimmick and it’s a great one. The name of the place is Walk-Away Treats. I popped in a couple weeks after it opened and ordered a Belgian waffle bacon, turkey, goat cheese sandwich. It sounded delicious, and it was but there was an unexpected surprise waiting.

“Can I interest you in some walk-away bacon?”

“Huh! What? Wait!” I scratched my head. “I understand 

each of the words individually, but the phrase is confusing.”

The clerk reached in the oven and pulled out a crisp piece of

bacon. “Let me explain. All customers can have a piece of

bacon when they make a purchase. You know . . . to eat as

they walk-away.”

“Wow! What an innovative idea.” I held out my hand. “Yes, please. I’ll take one.”

He handed me the bacon strip. “It has brown sugar on it.”

I took a bite. “That’s yummy.”

“Tomorrow we’re making peppered bacon, thick slices.” He smiled. “Last week we

had chocolate dipped.”

“Really! Are you doing that this week?”

“Maybe, but I know we’re having cinnamon flavored on Thursday.”

“Wow! I think I love this place.” I took another bite of my walk-away snack. “I’d

 bring my wife over, but she’s vegetarian.”

“Oh! We have great veggie sandwiches, and we’ll give her a strip of walk-away faken

bacon.”

“Oh! Canadian bacon?”

“No, that’s still meat. Ours is made with organic vegetables.”

“Seems unfair that I get real bacon but a vegetarian gets faken bacon.”

“That’s just the way it is.” He waved his hand in a sweeping motion. “It’s called 

walk-away bacon, so you should be walking away.” He grinned. “See you Thursday.”

Being an Old Guy

When I see a photo of myself I see an old guy. The thing is I don’t feel like an old person. Yes, I have aches and pains, but I attribute that to years of activity with some injuries. Inside I don’t feel old, I feel tested, well tested but with that comes some level of achievement. 

     My mind is sharp, even though I forget a few things I’m still capable. There must be another word to use when referring to someone who has lived many years. Senior is one I’ve heard but that doesn’t tell the whole story. There is a toughness that comes with age. But also a calmness knowing that everything will be okay. An old person is not trying to impress, convince or change anyone. Old people are comfortable in their own skin, so don’t give them advice just listen to their stories. Who knows you could learn something.

     Maybe old is the right word. There just needs to be a better definition. Old is weathered, resilient, determined, tested, and approved. They’ve been there and done that, and know what’s worth doing again. Technology can confuse them but if the Internet was switched off, old guys would be the survivors. “Just Saying . . .”