Bread Heels and Other Foibles

             I know it seems like a weird topic, but we all have odd thoughts now and then. 

I like bread heels. That’s just the way it is. I make no excuses. 

There are a lot of people that don’t. They would prefer to feed them to the birds, which is nice, but I like bread heels, so sorry birds their mine. No, not sorry, not at all. I like them enough that I think one of the big bread companies should produce a loaf with only heels. It wouldn’t be a big market, but a loyal one.

My wife is in the other camp. She’s not a fan of the heels. She won’t eat them and doesn’t even like the slice next to the heel because of its close proximity to the heel. She claims that slice has heel-like properties because of its neighbor. Those slices are mine without dispute.

I’ve seen bread sold that has no heels. How can that be? When bread is baked it has a crust on all sides, so I guess that means it was sliced off to appease all the heel haters. The birds win, but all the other heel-lovers and I lose.

When I toast bread I want it to be a crisp golden brown, but a little char is not a bad thing. My wife’s preference is tan colored toast with some white showing but absolutely no char. If there is any char at all it’s my toast.

What can I say? Opposites attract. 

* * * 

The scariest phrase in the English language is “Come here I want to show you something.”

            Not a phrase that sounds like it would send shivers down your spine. But it’s a dreaded phrase in my house and I’m sure other husbands may feel the same way when they hear those words. It’s a phrase my wife uses on occasion when she wants some supportive words from me regarding a problem she discovered. 

Never followed by, “Honey, I found some gold coins in the attic,” or “Look, I have the winning numbers in the lottery.”

     Other troubling phrases that bring me some concern include:

     “Here, taste this.” After the spoon enters my mouth I hear, “I think it’s spoiled.”

     “Taste the milk . . . it smells bad.”
                                                                            * * *
      I could go on but it’s time for breakfast.
     “ Toast would be good . . . Umm! Maybe there’s a bread heel left.”

First Car - Latest Car

     The first car I bought was a 1958 Chevrolet Delray. I paid $275 in 1965. It was I sad shape but I was thrilled to get it. The previous owner was a young driver. This was apparent because the hood was bulldozed (chevy emblems removed). It had been repainted a maroon color.
     The three speed shifter was removed from the steering column and relocated to the floor, which was cool but it was installed backwards. First gear was on the top left where reverse would normally be and there was a 4-speed knob on the gear handle. It was important to know the weird setup so you didn’t follow the pattern on the knob and shift from 1st to reverse. Can you say janky?
     It didn’t run great but my Dad had a buddy that jumped in to help get it in good running order. Thanks Mr. Berkel. I learned to drive on my Dads 1959 Oldsmobile 98, eight cylinder with an automatic transmission. It was pretty fast. The drive selections were P, D, S, N, R. I ask my Dad what S meant. He proudly said. “That stands for super.” I guess that was like Tesla’s insane mode, nah, more likely it meant 2nd gear.
     My ‘58 was the first stick shift I drove but that’s what I wanted. I took me quite awhile to master it but with all the hills around St. Louis I had no other choice but to learn. I still have a shift car today, a 6-speed, Mini Cooper. It shifts much smoother than the ‘58 Chevy.
     Those were fun times, just owning a car was a privilege then. Nothing high tech on the cars back in the 60’s which is quite different from today. This week we bought a 2019 Kia Niro Plug-In Hybrid. It’s the base model but it’s got more bells and whistles than I ever imagined a car would have. We’ve only had it for two days but so far the gas mileage is 85 mph. I like the car and all the gadgets so it’s all good. Back in the 60’s no one even checked gas mileage. “Just Saying . . . ?

Give me a Dollars Worth

     How many people have said this? Who understands this reference? If you know what that means, you’re probably 70 or older.
     When I was a young driver, I didn’t have a lot of cash like most young people but it didn’t stop us. It was different then, less complicated, we didn’t live in the high-tech society like today. But, on the plus gasoline was cheap, we didn’t appreciate it or even realize it. At 30 cents a gallon, a dollar would buy you a little over 3 gallons without a gas war. It was not uncommon to pull into a service station and get a dollar's worth.
     Wait . . .What . . . gas war? What’s that, young folks may ask? Well, gas stations used to compete for business by lowering the price of gas to get the consumer to fill up at their station. During a gas war, the gallon price could go down to 20 cents or lower. So for $1.00 you could get 4 gallons of fuel. Hard to imagine today.
     Just as surprising was the fact that there was no need to get out of your car because an attendant would fill the tank for you. They even washed your windows, checked your oil and, this will blow your mind, put air in your tires. Air was free then. All for the privilege of having your business, even if you only spent $1.00.
     If you had a motorcycle, a dollar's worth was more gas than the tank would hold. A motorcycle rider could go to a gas station in the 60’s and ask for a fill-up, hand the attendant a dollar and get change back. Whoa! Mind blown.
     You can still go to a gas station today and buy a $1.00 worth of gas but you’ll pump it yourself, wash your own windshield, check your own oil and tire pressure. Since you will only get 1/3 to 1/2 gallon for that amount, it’s probably not a wise move. Also, you’re likely to hear a few comments about camping at the pump for an extended period of time. “Just Saying . . .”

The Shutdown

     Non-Essential that's the term used for the 800,000+ government workers that aren’t getting paid during the shutdown. Who in the government determines those jobs that are non-essential? I’m not sure, but I’ll bet their not on that list. I’m sure the families of the unpaid federal employees believe they’re essential.
     Being a Democrat or Republican or your belief in reason for the shutdown is not as important as the impact it has on the families shutoff from their wages. There’s probably not many people that would dispute that fact . . . except our elected officials.
     Let’s talk about fairness. There’s many things that are not fair in life, but we understand that and deal with it in our own way. We the citizens of the USA elect politicians to represent us, so any decision they make that affects us. In truth that makes sense but for some reason it doesn’t affect the elected officials. Why?
     I’m not just talking about the shutdown, social security is another hot topic for a later discussion. Here’s an approach I can get behind. In any governmental shutdown pay the 800,000 employees that are essential to their families well being, but suspend salaries of all elected officials. That seems fair to me, after all their the ones that can’t come to an agreement.
     Isn’t it possible that a resolution will come quicker if the elected officials are required to work without pay? “Just Saying . . .”