Mustard Water

This is a silly post, and there’s nothing in it that will save the world. But, I notice odd things and this is one of them. 

    We buy store brand mustard. It’s a way of saving few bucks, but I wonder if we’re really saving anything. When I have a hot dog, yes I still eat hot dogs, I squeeze mustard on the bun, but the first thing I see is mustard water flowing out. Damn it! I don’t like mustard water. How much water is in a bottle of mustard? I’m not sure but there must be quite a bit because it seems to collect rapidly. Do the name brand mustards contain less water? 

     Years before squeeze bottles, we didn’t have this problem. We used a knife or spoon to dive into the bottle to get the mustard for our sandwich. But with the convenience of the plastic squeeze bottle we discovered the yucky mustard water. The label tells you the ingredients and one is water, but there’s no percentage of how much water it contains. I suspect name brand mustards also contain water as did the non-squeeze bottles back in the day. The bottom line is that water has always been an ingredient in mustard. 

     It’s a science thing that water is lighter than the other mustard ingredients so it rises to the top. We have learned to first squeeze the mustard into the sink to get the water out every time we use it. In doing that we also squirt a little mustard out.  Maybe if I shake the bottle before I use it that might help. I’ll have to try that. I haven’t noticed the same problem with catsup. Probably, because we store catsup bottles upside down. I just pull it out of the frig and squirt it on the sandwich. No catsup water at all. I read the label which does not have water as an ingredient, but this was Heinz so I need to check the label on a store brand. On a recent shopping trip, I did a little research and found that water is not listed as an ingredient in catsup but all mustard contain some amount of water. 

     I’m curious why is catsup in clear bottles even store brands and mustard is in colored bottles with the exception of specialty mustards like spicy hot, stone ground or honey dijon. Both catsup and mustards are colored and that color would be visible in a clear bottle. Is mustard in a colored bottle because the manufacturer doesn’t want the consumer to see all the water in the mustard bottle? Seems puzzling to me. I think the mustard producers should adopt the catsup idea by introducing upside down bottles then you then maybe we wouldn’t have to deal with mustard water until the bottle is almost empty. 

“Just Saying . . .”

  

     

Egg Noodles

My wife, Mimi and I were at Schnucks grocery store. It would be more appropriate if it was spelled Schnooks, since we check and bag our own groceries. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

    Anyway while we were shopping my wife asked me. "Do we have egg noodles at home."

    I looked up as if the answer was floating in the sky. "I don't know."

    Mimi said. "It would be nice if we had a camera in the pantry so we could  check."

    I commented. "Or even better a scanner like they have here at Schnooks. We already know how to use it, we do it weekly."

    "Yes." She replied. "We could have an inventory list of every item added or removed from the pantry."

    "The technology is already available. Some influencer should influence that idea to reality." I crossed my arms. "But, I'm sure there will be many people that would say 'Why bother' when you can shop online and they deliver your groceries to your door."

    "That's true, but we would miss our weekly adventure into the world."

    "Some people might call me weird, but I do enjoy the personal contact with strangers that you don't get with online shopping." I pause in a dreamlike state. "Think of all the interesting stories I would miss."

    "Yeah! Remember the gal at Walmart who would get in line at self check-out then continue shopping causing everyone else to wait on her."

    "Fun times." I reminisced. "Yes, she's the one who told me, 'Get over it old man'.

    "But, that was Walmart." Mimi shrugged. "That's the Serengeti of shopping experiences."

    "No kidding, No one should ever be surprised about what happens there." I handed the egg noodles to Mimi. "Let's try Dear-bergs next week. I hear some of the workers smile there."    

Act Happy to be Happy

The first step to being happy is a smile. It’s true whether you believe it or not. I see many people throughout the day that look like they just can’t take another minute of life. Walking zombies who work, but put as little effort into enjoying their job as possible. It seems to be so prevalent that when a smiling face appears, it surprises you. 

     People react differently to a smile, than a blank stare. A smile cost nothing but it reaps great rewards for the customer and you. Everybody feels better when a smile appears. It’s uplifting for everyone and it requires very little effort. But that’s nothing compared to a laugh. When you hear someone laugh you start to smile without even thinking. A smile is pleasant but a laugh is contagious. 

     Isn’t happiness the goal for everyone? If you agree why wait for it to randomly appear. You can jump start it by putting a smile on your face every morning. At first it will seem fake but after a while it will be your go-to look. Strangers will smile back, and your day will feel brighter. There's only one downside to a smile. I caution you, be careful because smiles lead to laughter. You may find yourself talking and laughing with total strangers. Is that possible? Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it can happen.

     I wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope you smile your way through the year. Try it, I promise it doesn’t hurt.

Thanks and Merry Christmas

I’d like to wish everyone on my friends list a Merry Merry Christmas. Each of you has had a positive impact on my life in different ways. I don’t get to see everyone often, but I enjoy those times we get together and the post or comments you write. The world is filled with both positivity and negativity. In my life the positive things outweigh the negative, so that makes me lucky. Just know that you are one of the positive things in my life. Enjoy the holiday and thanks for bringing happiness into other peoples lives. To quote Clark Griswold.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Hap Hap Happy New Year! . . . . Where’s the Tylenol?

Gift of a Lifteme

The little old man sat on a bench near the entrance to a fancy restaurant to meet his daughter for dinner. Every year they met at the same restaurant for his birthday dinner. An evening he looked forward to and cherished, even though they struggled to discuss their lives. It was difficult because they had different views but were the same in other ways. Both were stubborn but she was also sensitive when her dad tried to give her advice. Something he was aware of but found difficult to control. They both had similar personalities, Lottie knew this and it bothered her. Their likeness didn’t make them gel. The issues each had were a bad combination for starting a friendly conversation. 

Conrad, the old man, told himself he would not be judgmental and do his best to

keep his words light and friendly. His daughter, Charlotte, lived out of town and was always busy, but this was not uncommon for a single mother of three girls. He called her Lottie as did most people. 

It was a chilly night, but still, Conrad didn’t mind waiting outside for Lottie to

arrive. Since she was always prompt he knew she would be here in a few minutes. But that night was different, Lottie didn’t show up. Conrad eventually moved inside after an hour to wait in the warmth on a comfortable chair. He didn’t call her because she rarely answered her phone. She preferred texting, and he didn’t text. 

About a half hour passed when a police officer entered the restaurant turned

to the old man and asked. “Are you waiting for your daughter?”

“Yes, I am. Is everything okay?”

“Is your daughter Charlotte?”

“Yes, but I call her Lottie.”

“She’s doing fine, but she’s in the hospital.”

“Oh! God no. What happened?”

“Well, the baby decided to come early.”

“Baby . . . I . . I didn’t know.”

“I can take you there if you like.”

“Yes, please. Thank you very much.”

The officer drove him to the hospital and dropped him off at the main entrance.

Conrad made his way to the maternity ward, but Lottie was in labor so Conrad waited

outside her room. Everything turned out fine, although it wasn’t an easy delivery. Lottie had a new baby, a boy, her only boy. His sisters would be thrilled. They wanted a brother. 

Conrad was happy for her, but a little uncomfortable because they hadn’t been

close for a while. He didn’t want to screw this up. It was important to be there for her, but sometimes his words got jumbled up and misunderstood. 

He sat in the waiting room, trying to think of the right words to say, while going

in and out of sleep. When Conrad woke a young man was sitting next to him. The old man introduced himself.

“I’m Conrad. My daughter just had a baby.”

The man stuck out his hand. “I’m Stan. My girlfriend is here.”

“I feel so stupid. I didn’t even know my daughter was pregnant.” Conrad rubbed

his eyes.

“Sometimes men are clueless. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I only see her once a year, but I miss her every day,” Conrad continued. “We’ve

had a contentious relationship, so I don’t know what I’m expected to do or say.”

Stan leaned over. “Just say what’s in your heart. Don’t overthink it.”

Just then the doctor came out and said Lottie was ready for visitors.

They both stood and Conrad gave a puzzled look at Stan.

Stan patted him on the shoulder and said, “Happy Birthday, Conrad. Lottie is my

fiancé. Time to meet your first grandson. Now there are two Conrads in the family.”

Too Much Wine

When has anybody ever said, “Get some wine when you go to the store, but not too much. 

Well, my wife has occasionally said that, but she just likes to tease me. “Oh! Okay. How much is too much? I held my hands out like I was measuring a northern pike.

Apparently, two cases is the maximum monthly buy you can make in Missouri. That’s right, any more is too much, even during the holidays. I didn’t know this until yesterday, when I tried to buy thirteen bottles from an online wine club. While checking out, a message came up in red font. Things written in red are always really important.

Your state legislators say you can't have this much wine.

Shipments to this region have a per customer volume limit of 2 cases per individual per calendar month. The volume will be calculated from combined onsite and offsite sales.

Not believing what I read I pushed the buy button and my sale was rejected. I re-read the message from the Missouri legislators and still did not believe the message written in red. So I pushed the buy now button a second time, but my purchase was again rejected. With my face contorted I said. “What the hell?” 

Just then my wife, Mimi walked in the room. I explained the situation saying I’m restricted from buying more wine this month since I reached the maximum allowable purchase. 

She cocked her head. I told her with the wine I bought earlier this month plus this current purchase exceeded the monthly allotment allowed in Missouri. Mimi was as puzzled about this as me. She doesn’t even drink wine, but she was annoyed that the government could tell us what we were allowed to buy. 

I said. “I know, and it’s the same legislators that legalized pot. I wonder how many cases of pot you can buy in a month?”

“I don’t think pot is measured by the case, but I get your point.” Mimi then said. “Can you buy it as a gift? You should call them.”

I dialed the number of the wine club. They put me on hold. So, while I waited I tried to buy it as gift, but ‘No joy’. When the wine guy came on the line I explained the problem and asked if my wife could buy the wine without setting off red flags with the Missouri legislators. He checked my account to verify that I have exceeded the two case limit since I bought 13 bottles in the first part of the month which was considered two cases. Rounding up, I guess that’s government math.  Ha! I should try that with taxes. But, he was able to get my wife on the account. So, my wife would be getting the wine, maybe she’ll share it with me. 

All’s well that ends well, but this made me think. How can this be enforceable? It really can’t because I can as much wine as I want at grocery stores. No one keeps track. It’s another annoying government rule to control the citizens for no good reason. I would rather the government be concerned about murders, carjackings and all the crime running rampant in downtown. 

“Just Saying”

Message from Mom

I’m waiting for you

Don’t be afraid

You’ve done your best

I’ve been watching from above

It wasn’t always easy

But worth the time

Your kids are grown and happy

Now it’s time for you to be with us

We have all missed you

There’s nothing else you need to do

Life is a journey

You have past the test