Horseback Riding in the Aspens

     We just spent a fun filled week in Arizona taking in many of the outdoor activities and sites including the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Jerome, Slide Rock, Meteor Crater, off-road Jeep tour and more.

     This story is about our high mountain trail ride (Navajo Spring Ride) through the Aspen Woods near Mormon Lake.  Our trail ride was Friday the day before we were to leave and it seemed like a fun way to spend our last day of vacation.  We reserved our trail ride on Thursday for a Friday afternoon ride.  

     Our group consisted of myself, Mimi, Maureen (daughter), Patrick (son) and Jen (daughter-in-law).  Jen had the most experience horseback riding (the most enthusiastic), Pat being next then myself, Mimi and Maureen had no experience at all.    

     The GPS directed us to the location but it the building seemed a little sketchy and no one was around but to be fair this was our cowboy adventure not a spa treatment, let’s get real.  We were early so we just waited and finally the owner Eddie showed up after clearing up a little confusion on the reservation, he and Chris went to get the horses.  They had asked about our experience with horses.  We boldly claimed that we had seen many pictures of horses and were experienced at sitting so why would there be an issue.  They meant riding experience, Oh!  That would be very little to none. 

     Eddie and Chris went to get the horses setup, that’s probably not the right term but you get the idea.  About 20 minutes later they brought the horses in to the corral where we would mount them for the start of the trail ride.  They had assigned specific horses to each of us based on our riding experience, which except for Jen was mostly south of zero.

    We were each give the name of our horse. My horse was Creampuff, what that doesn’t sound very manly, I guess they didn’t value my experience as a horseman from my riding days when I was 10 years old.  But Ok, I won’t judge, let me see the horse first. Pat would ride Chromo, Mimi’s horse was Luke, Jen had Teddy and Maureen was assigned Blue.  

     Creampuff was a big white horse, the biggest horse in the group.  I am the shortest person in our family, good to know cowboys have a sense of humor.  Seriously, the top of my head wasn’t as high as the Creampuff’s back.  The stirrup was 5 feet of the ground; I’m 5’5” tall (on a good day).  How was I going to get on a horse that tall and the girth of Creampuff was enormous, it would be like straddling a boxcar.

     I was laughing as I sauntered over to my horse. Hey! Anybody got a ladder?  It’s important to know at this point that I’m not very flexible, never have been even as a baby so I knew this would be a challenge.  Cowboy Chris said no problem you got this as I tried stretched my short stubby little legs toward the stirrup missing by 12 inches.  Cowboy Chris readjusted the stirrup lowering it as much as possible.  Now I’ll give it another try, I stretched my left leg (the good one) up as far as I could but I was still short of the stirrup by about 4 inches when Cowboy Chris said I’ll give you a shove and pushed me up and on the horse. Whew! Now I am perched on top of Creampuff, Hmm, I would have expected Creampuff to be a little softer but that was not the case.

     Everyone else mounted their horses but not with the same flair as I did.  Now we were ready for our trail ride. Off we go following in single file through the woods along the Aspen trail.  This 1½-hour ride was a pleasant trip through the woods up and down the rocky trail except for the fact that my legs felt like I imagine a turkey wishbone being tugged from both sides.  The horses stumbled a few times, pooped & peed a lot but everyone enjoyed the experience with Cowboy Eddie & Cowboy Chris plus Maureen overcame her fear of horses. 

     Now, arriving back at the corral my only worry was how was my munchkin body going to get off ginormous horse.  Well thankfully, there was a cowboy at the corral who gave assistance.   Finally I’m on the ground safe and sound.  One thing occurred to me is that in all the cowboy movies I’ve watched over the years I have never seen a cowboy help another cowboy on or off a horse but then again they weren’t riding CREAMPUFF.

Too much, Too little or Just right

     There seems to be a lot of information sent out telling us how to stay healthy.  This information is appreciated but there is so much it can be overwhelming.   We are told sitting too much is not good for you so we now have desk that you can stand at but standing is hard on your back so that's not the answer.  

     Let's not forget to keep our brain active as well.  There are many Internet sites that show you brain games to play, so this is good but do you sit, stand or walk when you play these brain games.   Well we have all been warned about texting while driving or walking so that only leaves sitting or standing.  How about lying down to read, is that bad?  We are told to get 8 hours of sleep and I can't vouch for others but I sleep lying down, I guess horses are better off because they sleep standing up. That doesn't seem restful to me.

     Staying fit and healthy will extend your life.  I believe that’s true but if staying healthy is stressful it may not be so.   I read recently about the small town Acciaroli in Italy (near Naples) where 300 of the 1000 residents are at least 100 years old. 

     The people in this town don’t live the Jillian Michaels healthy lifestyle but they are living a long life. They do walk a lot and eat a Mediterranean diet but they also smoke and many are heavy; by our standards they would be considered fat.  But there’s one other thing they spend time laughing and socializing in this beach town, Hmm, I wonder if this is a factor. Of course, good genetics could be a factor but there has to be other influences. 

      So it is important not to sit, stand or eat too much and don’t walk too little.  I recommend following the Goldilocks rule and find out what’s “Just Right” for you.

     It might be that the key ingredient in a long life is socializing, “laughing it up” but even if I’m wrong about, you will have a fun life.  "Just Saying...."

Warning (For Men Only) - A Man's Guide to Household Chores

     Times have changed and men have taken a more active role in some household duties although women still do the bulk of the work.  My wife (Mimi) works a few days a week and on those days I take it upon myself to tidy up around the house.  It's not because I have a deep desire for cleaning to perfection but I give it my best shot.

     So I decided to give other guys a few of my cleaning tips.  If you are a women reading this post, "Stop, turn away from the page" these tips are for men only................................................Ok, I think they’re gone so now I can continue.  My tips are listed below, you may want to cut them out and keep a copy in your wallet for future reference.

Man's Guide to Household Chores

Doing the dishes give you the most bang for the buck.  Walking into a kitchen where there are no dirty dishes gives an important illusion of total house cleanliness.  You have two options here doing the evening dishes while you wife is relaxing with a good book; this shows you are being helpful.  I prefer to wait until the next morning after my wife leaves for work, that way she comes back to see a clean kitchen.

Doing dishes is the most important chore and must be done everyday.  Why? because as I said above it gives you the illusion of a clean house.  So if this is the only task you get to do you'll show that you made he effort.  Cleaning the counters and table goes hand in hand with the dishes.  You are not looking for perfection, if you’re short on time because your tee time is drawing near, just clean the spaghetti spill, bacon grease or any obvious spots that would take someone’s attention away from your clean kitchen.

The next most important chore is cleaning the ceramic floors and vacuuming.  I lumped these together because I sweep the dirt from the ceramic tile on to the carpet, which I later vacuum up.  You caught what I said right!  I usually vacuum late in the day so there are still vacuum marks on the carpet, which shows you have vacuumed.  You may find a few dirt spots on the ceramic tile that can't be swept up so you could wash the floor, which is what most women would do but as a man I have an alternate suggestion.  Just get a wet rag scrub the few coffee stains or jelly spills from the tile and Voilà you have clean floor.

Actually, all the household chores can be performed late in the day. That gives you less time to screw up the house before your wife returns, which I find happens to me.

Vacuuming the carpeted steps.  I don't like this, it requires getting out the hose and other attachments, too time consuming.  What I prefer to do pick up the little threads, leaves, fuzz or anything on the carpeted stairs that doesn't match the color of the carpet.  You are likely up and down the stairs frequently throughout the day so every time you use the stairs pick up a few bits of fuzz and Voilà (I like the sound of that word) with very little effort the stairs will have the illusion of being clean.  If you come across a particularly tough ground in stain I suggest you use your fingernail and saliva which is your God given cleaning fluid.  You can't deny that everyone uses saliva to clean things.

I rarely dust unless the TV or cabinet looks like it changed color because of the dust accumulation, if that is the case I can use my shirtsleeve, which is readily available. This never happens unless Mimi’s out of town because she dusts regularly.

I will do laundry but my belief is that there is no reason to segregate whites from colors, haven’t we gotten past that.  Segregation has always been a big issue in the country so I decided to take a stand starting with laundry.  Maybe because of this Mimi has told me not to do the laundry.  Alright, if those are you wishes, I will comply.

I do know the fundamentals of ironing but it’s not my forte. There are a lot of settings on an iron, for cotton, linen, polyester and a few others that I have no idea what they’re for.  So for this reason I was instructed not to iron Mimi’s clothes, ok whatever you say. 

Sometimes I iron my own clothes but only when it’s absolutely necessary, like a polo shirt or dress shirt to where with a suit.  However I have a trick to ironing a dress shirt that you wear with a suit, just iron the collar and front because no ones going to see the rest of the shirt so they will assume it is ironed.  If for some reason you take you suit jacket off, complain loudly about how the jacket wrinkled your shirt.  It’s a believable story.

     So these are my tips for handling household chores, I hope they have been helpful.

Connecting with others

     Many of us seem to live in our own little worlds ignoring most everything in life that doesn't fit in our world.  That's unfortunate because we don't connect with others.  If it does not directly affect us we are unconcerned.  Truthfully, many things in life affect us in an indirect way and ignoring them won't make them go away.

     We have become so disconnected with others that we don't even realize it.  People will argue that social media keeps them connected which is true but only partially.  There is nothing like a face-to-face connection.  We have electronic devices that keep us informed but don't help us to connect in a deep personal way.  If society was more connected we would be more understanding a tolerant of others.

     I believe if we were physically tied to a different person everyday we would learn to get along.  Think about it, you would have to.  It would help you learn to negotiate, there would be no choice, you couldn't kill them because then you would have to drag a dead body around with you all day, that would slow you down.

     It would be interesting to see people of different social status, opinions or nationalities paired together so I would like to propose the first pair to be tied together, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton. Don't you think that would not only be interesting but beneficial in some way?  Let's add another log on to the fire so to speak by requiring the pair to show signs of being tolerant to each other before they would be untied.  How about an 80 year old tied to an 18 year old, two people who speak a different language tied together or Oh! Oh! Kanye West strapped to anyone but a Kardashian?  Sorry about that last pairing but I couldn't resist.  I'm sure there are many combinations of people that you might like to see tied together, the list is probably endless.

     I know this is a ridiculous idea but think about the benefits it might have by forcing people to connect with others.  So maybe a less drastic way to connect with others is just talking and listening to others even strangers on a daily basis.  Who would you be tied to and what would you learn from this experiment?  "Just Saying....."

Growing up in a Wireless (Cordless) World

      I wasn't born into a cordless world but like everyone else I welcomed it when it arrived.  Why wouldn't I, wires always seem like they get in the way and tangled like a elaborate spider web.  So the invention of the wireless products was welcomed with open arms.  Now there are many cordless products like wireless computers, stereos, tools, printers, phones, etc. but some of the real important things still have cords like bank pens.

     There are however some things that should always have wires and cords like bungee jumping (not trying that.....ever), calf roping (that could be entertaining with a strong Wi-Fi signal) my imagination is painting a really funny picture right now, zip lining (not good if you lose a signal midway through), tightrope walking and trapeze (that would bring new thrills to a circus crowd).

     Cords and wires are constricting, they hold you back, prevent you from moving beyond a certain predetermined distance. Wireless (cordless) objects free you to roam anywhere of your choosing. This is all good but if I’m in a hot air balloon I want ropes holding the basket.  “Just Saying….”

Does the Internet Improve Communication?

     Isn't it great that we live in a time when ways to communicate are so abundant?  You can instantly communicate with others anywhere in the world via the Internet and the many social media sites.

     What is communication?  According to the dictionary it is "discussing between two parties that will produce a greater understanding".  I'm sure we would agree that sounds accurate but something is missing in the way we communicate today.  I think it's the greater understanding part; we can't have a greater understanding of a problem unless we listen to both sides of the discussion.

     The social media networks have improved communication by making it easier to reconnect to friends and relatives but they have also had a negative impact on communication as well.  It has become very easy to trash talk people or issues without a face-to-face discussion from an opposing viewpoint.  We can easily give our opinion sometimes with volatile words or tones without recourse or repercussion but this is not communication because it only goes one direction.  The part of communication that is forgotten much of the time is listening.  Talking, not yelling is communication in one direction and listening, not ignoring is communication in the other direction.  If one of these is missing it's not communication.

     Opinions are abundant and varied but those willing to listen to others opinions may develop a clearer understanding of the issue from another perspective and knowing this will either re-enforce your opinion or modify it in some way.

     So for me the answer to the question, "Does the Internet improve communication?" is both yes and no.  I like a lot of the communication opportunities of the Internet but I don't like the hostile one-way communication, which I consider the underbelly of the Internet.  Communication is a skill that can be learned, like many skills that we use on a daily basis.   "Just Saying...."

Where's the Beef?......Everywhere I look

    My wife (Mimi) had just left for work so I was decided to wash the dishes early so I would have the rest of the day to play.  When my wife works I try to clean up because that's the right thing to do.  I am a surface cleaner, I don't dive deep into the world of dirt, I just knock the big chunks off.

     Doing the dishes is pretty easy and it gives the illusion that a lot of work was done.  I was almost complete with only one container of leftover beef and it's juice so I poured it into the sink and turned on the garbage disposal but to my dismay the sink clogged.  I waited a few minutes expecting a miracle from the plumbing Gods to clear the clog but I guess the planets were not aligned so the clog remained.

     I knew where the clog was from previous battles with the kitchen plumbing so it was an easy fix.  The hardest part was removing all the cleaning supplies from underneath the sink.  Pricey Pfixer had just sent us a new diverter because ours was going bad (annual issue) so I thought maybe this would be a good time to change the diverter as well.  I didn't really want to so I thought let's just see how this goes before I tackle the diverter.

     I have cleared enough plumbing clogs to know that no matter what I do there will be a mess.  I removed a portion of the cleaning supplies from underneath the drain trap and placed a pan below the trap to catch the water.  I cautiously loosened the plastic threaded connector caps since I expected a small initial surge of water coming from the drain but to my surprise the small surge was more like I had punched a hole in the Hoover Dam.  Water but not just clean clear water, beef and it's juice flowed out like a fire hydrant spewing this tainted mixture of beef over me and the inside of the cabinet.  The pan I placed underneath the trap was barren as a desert (a colander would have been just as useful) but the cabinet and its contents were floating in slightly aged beef juice.  I was dripping with juice plus strings of beef were hanging from the rims of my glasses.  This was not going as I expected.   I took quick action to sop up the juice and beef floating on the floor of the cabinet.

     Now I had to remove the rest of the cleaning supplies so I could do a deeper cleaning of the cabinet and the contents, something that was foreign to me.  At this time I decided I would replace the diverter since I had to empty out the cabinet anyway.  As I removed the bottles and containers from the cabinet I noticed they were dripping with juice and beef.  Great just great, now I would have to clean each container before I put it back.  Once the cabinet was empty I cleaned the inside, it seemed like there were strands of beef everywhere.  No matter how many times I wiped it down I found more beef strands and all I could think of is the Arby's commercial "We have the meats".  It’s like the beef mutated and produced more beef than originally existed (notice the Twilight Zone theme song playing in your head).

     Finally the cabinet was clean and I stood there pondering the situation, scratching my head watching dried beef falling from my scalp, yes you heard it right, I said beef.  I decided to replace the diverter before reassembling the trap so I went to the garage to get some old boat cushions I use when working on the kitchen plumbing to cushion against the back pain from the cabinet, not my first rodeo.  I have changed the diverter many times so I expected this operation to go well (see my post "Why Circus Performers would be Good Plumbers" on 8-4-14), but first I must turn off the water or I would be back to square one.

     Installing the diverter and reinstalling the plumbing trap went without a hitch so my job was done and Mimi would be happy to know I had replaced the diverter.  I won't tell her that wasn't the original plan, but she will probably find out.  Woo Hoo, It’s lunchtime maybe I’ll head over to Lions Choice for a delectable beef sandwich, nay!  I don’t think so.