Friday, December 8, 2023

Gift of a Lifteme

The little old man sat on a bench near the entrance to a fancy restaurant to meet his daughter for dinner. Every year they met at the same restaurant for his birthday dinner. An evening he looked forward to and cherished, even though they struggled to discuss their lives. It was difficult because they had different views but were the same in other ways. Both were stubborn but she was also sensitive when her dad tried to give her advice. Something he was aware of but found difficult to control. They both had similar personalities, Lottie knew this and it bothered her. Their likeness didn’t make them gel. The issues each had were a bad combination for starting a friendly conversation. 

Conrad, the old man, told himself he would not be judgmental and do his best to

keep his words light and friendly. His daughter, Charlotte, lived out of town and was always busy, but this was not uncommon for a single mother of three girls. He called her Lottie as did most people. 

It was a chilly night, but still, Conrad didn’t mind waiting outside for Lottie to

arrive. Since she was always prompt he knew she would be here in a few minutes. But that night was different, Lottie didn’t show up. Conrad eventually moved inside after an hour to wait in the warmth on a comfortable chair. He didn’t call her because she rarely answered her phone. She preferred texting, and he didn’t text. 

About a half hour passed when a police officer entered the restaurant turned

to the old man and asked. “Are you waiting for your daughter?”

“Yes, I am. Is everything okay?”

“Is your daughter Charlotte?”

“Yes, but I call her Lottie.”

“She’s doing fine, but she’s in the hospital.”

“Oh! God no. What happened?”

“Well, the baby decided to come early.”

“Baby . . . I . . I didn’t know.”

“I can take you there if you like.”

“Yes, please. Thank you very much.”

The officer drove him to the hospital and dropped him off at the main entrance.

Conrad made his way to the maternity ward, but Lottie was in labor so Conrad waited

outside her room. Everything turned out fine, although it wasn’t an easy delivery. Lottie had a new baby, a boy, her only boy. His sisters would be thrilled. They wanted a brother. 

Conrad was happy for her, but a little uncomfortable because they hadn’t been

close for a while. He didn’t want to screw this up. It was important to be there for her, but sometimes his words got jumbled up and misunderstood. 

He sat in the waiting room, trying to think of the right words to say, while going

in and out of sleep. When Conrad woke a young man was sitting next to him. The old man introduced himself.

“I’m Conrad. My daughter just had a baby.”

The man stuck out his hand. “I’m Stan. My girlfriend is here.”

“I feel so stupid. I didn’t even know my daughter was pregnant.” Conrad rubbed

his eyes.

“Sometimes men are clueless. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I only see her once a year, but I miss her every day,” Conrad continued. “We’ve

had a contentious relationship, so I don’t know what I’m expected to do or say.”

Stan leaned over. “Just say what’s in your heart. Don’t overthink it.”

Just then the doctor came out and said Lottie was ready for visitors.

They both stood and Conrad gave a puzzled look at Stan.

Stan patted him on the shoulder and said, “Happy Birthday, Conrad. Lottie is my

fiancĂ©. Time to meet your first grandson. Now there are two Conrads in the family.”

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Too Much Wine

When has anybody ever said, “Get some wine when you go to the store, but not too much. 

Well, my wife has occasionally said that, but she just likes to tease me. “Oh! Okay. How much is too much? I held my hands out like I was measuring a northern pike.

Apparently, two cases is the maximum monthly buy you can make in Missouri. That’s right, any more is too much, even during the holidays. I didn’t know this until yesterday, when I tried to buy thirteen bottles from an online wine club. While checking out, a message came up in red font. Things written in red are always really important.

Your state legislators say you can't have this much wine.

Shipments to this region have a per customer volume limit of 2 cases per individual per calendar month. The volume will be calculated from combined onsite and offsite sales.

Not believing what I read I pushed the buy button and my sale was rejected. I re-read the message from the Missouri legislators and still did not believe the message written in red. So I pushed the buy now button a second time, but my purchase was again rejected. With my face contorted I said. “What the hell?” 

Just then my wife, Mimi walked in the room. I explained the situation saying I’m restricted from buying more wine this month since I reached the maximum allowable purchase. 

She cocked her head. I told her with the wine I bought earlier this month plus this current purchase exceeded the monthly allotment allowed in Missouri. Mimi was as puzzled about this as me. She doesn’t even drink wine, but she was annoyed that the government could tell us what we were allowed to buy. 

I said. “I know, and it’s the same legislators that legalized pot. I wonder how many cases of pot you can buy in a month?”

“I don’t think pot is measured by the case, but I get your point.” Mimi then said. “Can you buy it as a gift? You should call them.”

I dialed the number of the wine club. They put me on hold. So, while I waited I tried to buy it as gift, but ‘No joy’. When the wine guy came on the line I explained the problem and asked if my wife could buy the wine without setting off red flags with the Missouri legislators. He checked my account to verify that I have exceeded the two case limit since I bought 13 bottles in the first part of the month which was considered two cases. Rounding up, I guess that’s government math.  Ha! I should try that with taxes. But, he was able to get my wife on the account. So, my wife would be getting the wine, maybe she’ll share it with me. 

All’s well that ends well, but this made me think. How can this be enforceable? It really can’t because I can as much wine as I want at grocery stores. No one keeps track. It’s another annoying government rule to control the citizens for no good reason. I would rather the government be concerned about murders, carjackings and all the crime running rampant in downtown. 

“Just Saying”





Friday, November 10, 2023

Message from Mom

I’m waiting for you

Don’t be afraid

You’ve done your best

I’ve been watching from above

It wasn’t always easy

But worth the time

Your kids are grown and happy

Now it’s time for you to be with us

We have all missed you

There’s nothing else you need to do

Life is a journey

You have past the test





Thursday, November 2, 2023

What's in a Name?

Writing is Hard and Sometimes Reading is too

 

Punctuation can be critical when writing a story. A reader can miss the point if a sentence is misread due to a missing comma. Inserting commas in the right place has never been my strong point, but I’m getting better and occasionally I even find an error when critiquing someone else’s work. Sometimes this confusion with commas can result in a funny outcome. 

Last week a friend of mine read his story, but I was confused because a comma

was missing. It was silly on my part because even without the comma it was obvious what he was trying to say. I interpreted an expression as some weird character name. Once I realized my mistake I had to laugh, and decided I needed to write a short story about a guy with this odd name. So, here you go. The story title is “What’s in a Name?” Please forgive me if I have any missing commas.


What’s in a Name?

 

I was meeting my potential new employer at Starbucks. Coffee’s a perk that makes people feel comfortable, even when they’re not. It gives them something to do with their hands. I ordered a regular coffee and a breakfast egg and cheese croissant. The barista handed me the coffee and said he would let me know when the sandwich was ready. I picked a table by the window.

A forty-ish-looking man walked in with a sour look on his face. I hoped this wasn’t

the guy who was going to interview me. What I didn’t need was some know-it-all, grim-faced bastard telling me how great he and his company were. He went to the counter and ordered a coffee. Something fancy, it appeared, since he waved his hands and fake poured. Then he walked over to where I sat. 

“Are you Chris?”

I stood. “Yes, are you with Wealth Strategies?” I extended my hand.

“Yes, I’m the face of the company and do all the interviews.” He shook my hand. 

“I’m Grim.”

“I’m so sorry. Did you get caught up in that traffic jam?”

He looked puzzled. “No. What traffic jam?” He repeated. “I’m Grim.”

Now, I was confused. “Yes, you said that. Why are you grim?”

“Blame it on my parents.”

“Oh! So you still live with them?” I sipped my coffee.

“No, of course not. I’m a grown-ass man. Forty-two years old.”

“Don’t let your parents get you down. No need to be grim.”

Just then the barista called out a name for a coffee pickup. “Order up for Face.”

He stood up and went to the counter to pick up his coffee. 

Did the barista say Face? Is this guy’s name Grim Face? Holy shit! What were

his parents thinking? I giggled inside. Hold it together.

He returned and sat down. “We should start the interview, I have another

appointment in an hour.” He handed me a business card. 

I snickered and put my hand over my mouth when I read his name. “Yes, Grim,” I

grinned. “Let’s get started.”

“You seem to be distracted. Is there something wrong?

“I’m sorry, it’s your name . . . it’s unusual.”

“Yes, somewhat. Grimley is unusual, but combined with the last name, even more

so.” Grim sipped his coffee. “It’s a great conversation starter.”

I snorted my coffee. “It certainly will get people talking.” I opened a sugar packet.

 “So, how am I doing so far?”

“Don’t make any big plans.” He fidgeted with the spoon. “Your name is unusual

as well.”

“Mine, really? I love my name.”

Over the loud speaker, I heard, “Order for Mas, Mr. Chris Mas.”

The young girl sitting next to us smiled. I winked. Grim Face walked out the door.

 

 

 

Monday, October 30, 2023

Smart Enough

I’m not smart enough to know all the answers

But I’m smart enough to know right and wrong

Not smart enough to solve world problems

Smart enough to recognize dictators

Not smart enough to prevent world wars

Smart enough to recognize the hurt

Not smart enough to understand the mind of a terrorist

Smart enough to know the fear of their victim

Not smart enough to explain why one death requires three in return

Smart enough to see revenge

Not smart enough to understand collateral damage

Smart enough to know innocent people are dying

Not smart enough to stop hate

Smart enough to know wars aren’t the answer

I’m not smart enough to know all the answers

But I’m smart enough to know what doesn’t work

Friday, October 13, 2023

Service with a smile

With the exception of Chick-fil-A and Trader Joe’s where have you experienced service with a smile? I often get service with a grunt or service with a blank stare, but rarely with a smile. I say rarely, because many older workers are pleasant maybe because they remember how lucky they felt when they got their first job. I’m not saying all young workers are unappreciative of their job, but I’ll stick my neck and I say many make it their goal to show dissatisfaction with their every action. 

    I’m sorry you couldn’t be born into the Kardasian family. Most of us are just regular people, but you can have a good life despite your mediocre financial position. Your attitude has a great impact on your life. You deserve nothing by being born except respect and a chance to succeed. Whatever you receive from your efforts is what you deserve. A smile cost you nothing, a good work ethic shows others you care. You will be there for your whole shift so why not enjoy it by smiling and showing some enthusiasm. There’s no health risk by enjoying your job, in fact there may be a kick of adrenaline from your efforts. 

     We can’t all be born to live in the lap of luxury, but I’m guessing the rich don’t live worry free lives. I don’t know what Chick-fil-A and Trader Joe’s are doing but I want them training all the young people who work in service jobs. “Just Saying . . .”

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Negative Speech

I’ve noticed there’s a lot of negativity and hate posted. Much of it is about politics. I support your right to have an opinion but rather than trash the opponent why not tell of all the positive reasons you support your candidate. No one is listening to your negative comments so there’s no chance you will convert anyone to your side. We all have different reasons for our beliefs and they may be valid, so tell us that instead of all the hateful comments about the other candidates. “Just Saying . . . “