Our 2nd night after biking all day, we stayed at
the Globe Hotel in Hartsburg. It looked
like an old western hotel that you might see in John Wayne movies with 3
floors. The owner (a lady that was a
retired medical scientist) had a small living room (10’ x 10’) in the front of
the house with a couch on one side and a bookcase on the opposite side with a
small TV that could get approximately 2 & 1/3 channels (that’s estimating
on the high side). Her personal living
quarters were right next to the living room and down the hall was the
kitchen.
When we first arrived she was holding and petting her cat
and she gave us our room number and showed us the living room, kitchen and 2nd
floor shared bathroom, which is the same floor.
The bathroom was massive with a lot of empty space. We chatted briefly which is how we found out
she was a retired medical scientist while still petting her cat she explained
in a very clear and direct manner that the 3rd floor was strictly
off limits and not to go up there. Well obviously she knows about cats but she
doesn’t know a lot about guys. Never, I
mean never tell guys that they can absolutely not do something. What she doesn’t understand is that warnings
to guys are often just challenges, what we really heard her saying was “You
don’t have the gonads to go up to the 3rd floor”. She then went on to elaborate that the
previous owner used to have a Gentleman’s Club on the 3rd
floor. Well that was her 2nd
mistake, what was she thinking telling us about the Gentleman’s Club, how
enticing was that, maybe she thought we were a couple (to steal a phrase from
Sienfield ) “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”, right no we’re just a
couple of goof balls.
After settling in our room (that’s right we shared a room
but separate beds), we toured the tiny town and got some dinner then went back
to the Globe to watch some TV. We ran into the owner again and while she
(still petting her cat) said we were welcome to watch TV or read as long as we
wanted. By this time we were convinced
she was the crazy cat lady with and advanced medical degree and the capability
to dissect creatures. We sat in the
living room laughing and making jokes about our situation and our landlord
while we did our best to find something on the TV but it was hopeless when you
found something it provided no entertainment and the signal would soon fade
away, so you would end up watching fuzz.
I decided to look through the books and John went upstairs
to call Cindy (his wife). A little later
John came back down and after fidgeting with the TV some more we decided to go
to bed after all it was a long day we road about 60 miles and we were
tired. Still somewhat distracted by our
outrageous imagination of the cat lady’s exploits I looked on my bed to find a
hand written note. The note said “You
have a nicely shaped head, what size hat do you wear”. My eyes grew I’m sure as big as grapefruits
then I immediately turned to John across the room and said “I got a note, did
you get a note”. John doing a good job
of holding his composure said “Note, No? What does it say?” So I read it to him then he came over to read
it himself and finally he could no longer hold it in and bust out laughing. Well, I immediately knew that I had been
duped, John wrote the note when he was upstairs talking to his wife. He had really sucked me into this prank but
we laughed on and off for hours constantly watching the door (we had
flashlights) because even though there was a lock, it didn’t work. The doors were warped with big gaps at
various places around the door so even if they could have been locked it
wouldn’t have been very secure but it seemed to add to the adventure. We had really freaked ourselves out, but
finally fell asleep.
The next morning after showering (separately I might add) we
decided we would explore the forbidden 3rd floor before going down
to breakfast. So, with flashlights in
hand we tried to quietly climb the steps to the 3rd floor but this
was an old hotel and being quite was not an option. I remember going first and John urging me
forward. The 3rd floor was
just a big room with an entry door that opened like a cellar door that you
pushed open. I pushed the door open and
to our disappointment there were no skeletons or carcasses just boxes, old
furniture and junk. Nothing even from
the debunked Gentleman’s Club, what a bust or not even a bust. Oh well at least we satisfied our curiosity.
So, we headed downstairs for breakfast and boy were we
hungry. We expected a John Wayne
breakfast after all this was a cowboy hotel.
So we sit down to eat and she brings out a spinach muffin and a
hard-boiled egg, are you kidding me, how can we make to lunch on an egg and a
muffin. I ate the muffin and left the
egg, John ate both but we both broke out the power bars shortly after we hit
the trail.
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