Chain-Saw-on-a-Stick.........Of Course

     I am getting a mental picture of how this product developed.  I imagine the marketing and design guys are sitting around thinking about new products and how they can be marketed when one forward thinking guy says.

     Hey, let's put a 4 pound chainsaw with shark like rotating teeth on the end of a 10 foot stick, isn't that a great idea.  Oh! Oh! then we'll target the advertising to women as the new garden tool that they can't do without.  The ad can show a women trimming the trees with ease but what the consumer won’t noticed is the women is a 30 year old that looks like she spends 4 hours a day in the gym.

     What a great marketing team, I could use them to market my blog.  If these guys can successfully sell a chain saw on a stick they could certainly get me more readers.  Maybe they could promote a book for me.  I could title it as Complication Compilation of Jim's Favorite Stories: damn I screwed that up.  Sorry, I got distracted easily.

      Mimi recently received a chain-saw-on-a-stick, which was a Christmas gift she requested.  I thought it was an unusual choice but who am I to question her desires.  So with the spring weather this weekend she wanted to test out the new toy, from here on let’s call it the beast.  She asks me to put the beast together so I did, which was rather simple but as I suspected a bit heavy.  This beast is electric so there’s no gas that can accidently spill on your head while you’re cutting a branch, that’s a plus. 

     Now that the beast is assembled I start the grass cutting while Mimi proceeds to cut some branches from the dogwood.  “Why did you cut those branches” I ask “Test cut” Mimi exclaims but “why did they need to be cut”.  “I didn’t like them”. “Well ok then”.

     Mimi then tackles the dead branch on the ugly tree in the front yard, which makes more sense to me but it’s a bigger branch and she sets the beast down when she is about half way through.  I say nothing and just continue cutting the grass.  Before long I notice she finished cutting the dead branch plus another decayed branch. Ok, so maybe this isn’t a bad idea.

     I moved on to the backyard and when I stopped to take a break Mimi says the chain came off so I told her I would fix it.  I ask why there is grass stuck in the chain.  “Well, I just saw some high grass so I trimmed it.”  "Really, with a chain saw".  It’s for wood, wooood, not grass.

    So I tighten the chain and showed her how it is done so she would be able to do it herself.  After finishing the grass as I'm walking in the house Mimi says, "This tree really needs to come down see how rotten it is" and while I agree it’s probably true, I‘m just not interested, I think it’s time for Beer-on-a-stick.

     Chain-saw-on-stick is such a great idea, I wonder what other dangerous product we can put on a stick.

Selling Fear

   Terrorists are in the market of selling fear and seem to be skilled at it.  All the attacks have made people fearful, which is understandable but it's also dangerous to succumb to this fear.  Life has changed but you cannot control everything so making dramatic changes to your life because of fear will only hurt your potential.

     I believe if we give in to the fear terrorist are selling they become the winners.  Be aware and be cautious but live your life to the fullest.  If we cower to the fears others impose on us we lose the opportunity for personal growth.

     We can't avoid all risk.  Living life is risk but what would life be without risk, some might say, safe but boring.  To say life without risk would be boring is an unfair statement because we all have different definitions of enjoyment but expecting life to be safe is not guaranteed.  The people that take calculated risks are more resilient and prepared in dealing with unplanned events.  I'm not saying we should throw caution to the wind, I'm just saying live your life the way you dream it to be and don't let fear change your goals. Ultimately, the decisions you make affect you so it is important to be comfortable with those decisions, despite the opinions of others including mine.  

     I've seen a few interviews with ISIS members and they calmly talk about how people without their beliefs will be killed.  They have no compassion or concern for others and they judge everyone that does not have their views as unworthy of life.  

     I purpose we no longer call these sellers of fear, terrorists.  I believe they like that title believing it implies power and control and it does that in some ways but I think the correct title for these groups should be cowards.  These cowards attack innocent people at gathering places when they are most vulnerable, one of the most recent being an amusement park in Pakistan.  So the title "Cowards" fits them better and takes away a little of their power.  "Just Saying....."

Positive Energy of People

     Have you ever noticed that when you're out in public and a stranger smiles or makes a friendly gesture or funny comment that it seems to boast your moral even if you are a little down.  People give you positive energy by engaging with you in some way.   They may not even know they are affecting you in a positive way but it makes them feel better to share their good mood.  So it’s a win-win situation.

     I don't have any scientific proof of this, just personal experience. I thrive on this free energy so much so that I look for any opportunity to engage with others.

     Of course there is negative energy surrounding some people as well but I don’t seem to notice that as much, maybe because I’m looking for the positive energy and block out any negative vibes.  Sometimes engaging in a conversation with someone can turn their negative mood into a positive one.

     I’m sure you’ve noticed how good you feel with friends and how it helps boost your mood; well it works the same with strangers too.  So if you’re not with friends all day long why not fill your day with positive energy from strangers.  “Just Saying….”

Horseback Riding in the Aspens

     We just spent a fun filled week in Arizona taking in many of the outdoor activities and sites including the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Jerome, Slide Rock, Meteor Crater, off-road Jeep tour and more.

     This story is about our high mountain trail ride (Navajo Spring Ride) through the Aspen Woods near Mormon Lake.  Our trail ride was Friday the day before we were to leave and it seemed like a fun way to spend our last day of vacation.  We reserved our trail ride on Thursday for a Friday afternoon ride.  

     Our group consisted of myself, Mimi, Maureen (daughter), Patrick (son) and Jen (daughter-in-law).  Jen had the most experience horseback riding (the most enthusiastic), Pat being next then myself, Mimi and Maureen had no experience at all.    

     The GPS directed us to the location but it the building seemed a little sketchy and no one was around but to be fair this was our cowboy adventure not a spa treatment, let’s get real.  We were early so we just waited and finally the owner Eddie showed up after clearing up a little confusion on the reservation, he and Chris went to get the horses.  They had asked about our experience with horses.  We boldly claimed that we had seen many pictures of horses and were experienced at sitting so why would there be an issue.  They meant riding experience, Oh!  That would be very little to none. 

     Eddie and Chris went to get the horses setup, that’s probably not the right term but you get the idea.  About 20 minutes later they brought the horses in to the corral where we would mount them for the start of the trail ride.  They had assigned specific horses to each of us based on our riding experience, which except for Jen was mostly south of zero.

    We were each give the name of our horse. My horse was Creampuff, what that doesn’t sound very manly, I guess they didn’t value my experience as a horseman from my riding days when I was 10 years old.  But Ok, I won’t judge, let me see the horse first. Pat would ride Chromo, Mimi’s horse was Luke, Jen had Teddy and Maureen was assigned Blue.  

     Creampuff was a big white horse, the biggest horse in the group.  I am the shortest person in our family, good to know cowboys have a sense of humor.  Seriously, the top of my head wasn’t as high as the Creampuff’s back.  The stirrup was 5 feet of the ground; I’m 5’5” tall (on a good day).  How was I going to get on a horse that tall and the girth of Creampuff was enormous, it would be like straddling a boxcar.

     I was laughing as I sauntered over to my horse. Hey! Anybody got a ladder?  It’s important to know at this point that I’m not very flexible, never have been even as a baby so I knew this would be a challenge.  Cowboy Chris said no problem you got this as I tried stretched my short stubby little legs toward the stirrup missing by 12 inches.  Cowboy Chris readjusted the stirrup lowering it as much as possible.  Now I’ll give it another try, I stretched my left leg (the good one) up as far as I could but I was still short of the stirrup by about 4 inches when Cowboy Chris said I’ll give you a shove and pushed me up and on the horse. Whew! Now I am perched on top of Creampuff, Hmm, I would have expected Creampuff to be a little softer but that was not the case.

     Everyone else mounted their horses but not with the same flair as I did.  Now we were ready for our trail ride. Off we go following in single file through the woods along the Aspen trail.  This 1½-hour ride was a pleasant trip through the woods up and down the rocky trail except for the fact that my legs felt like I imagine a turkey wishbone being tugged from both sides.  The horses stumbled a few times, pooped & peed a lot but everyone enjoyed the experience with Cowboy Eddie & Cowboy Chris plus Maureen overcame her fear of horses. 

     Now, arriving back at the corral my only worry was how was my munchkin body going to get off ginormous horse.  Well thankfully, there was a cowboy at the corral who gave assistance.   Finally I’m on the ground safe and sound.  One thing occurred to me is that in all the cowboy movies I’ve watched over the years I have never seen a cowboy help another cowboy on or off a horse but then again they weren’t riding CREAMPUFF.

Too much, Too little or Just right

     There seems to be a lot of information sent out telling us how to stay healthy.  This information is appreciated but there is so much it can be overwhelming.   We are told sitting too much is not good for you so we now have desk that you can stand at but standing is hard on your back so that's not the answer.  

     Let's not forget to keep our brain active as well.  There are many Internet sites that show you brain games to play, so this is good but do you sit, stand or walk when you play these brain games.   Well we have all been warned about texting while driving or walking so that only leaves sitting or standing.  How about lying down to read, is that bad?  We are told to get 8 hours of sleep and I can't vouch for others but I sleep lying down, I guess horses are better off because they sleep standing up. That doesn't seem restful to me.

     Staying fit and healthy will extend your life.  I believe that’s true but if staying healthy is stressful it may not be so.   I read recently about the small town Acciaroli in Italy (near Naples) where 300 of the 1000 residents are at least 100 years old. 

     The people in this town don’t live the Jillian Michaels healthy lifestyle but they are living a long life. They do walk a lot and eat a Mediterranean diet but they also smoke and many are heavy; by our standards they would be considered fat.  But there’s one other thing they spend time laughing and socializing in this beach town, Hmm, I wonder if this is a factor. Of course, good genetics could be a factor but there has to be other influences. 

      So it is important not to sit, stand or eat too much and don’t walk too little.  I recommend following the Goldilocks rule and find out what’s “Just Right” for you.

     It might be that the key ingredient in a long life is socializing, “laughing it up” but even if I’m wrong about, you will have a fun life.  "Just Saying...."

Warning (For Men Only) - A Man's Guide to Household Chores

     Times have changed and men have taken a more active role in some household duties although women still do the bulk of the work.  My wife (Mimi) works a few days a week and on those days I take it upon myself to tidy up around the house.  It's not because I have a deep desire for cleaning to perfection but I give it my best shot.

     So I decided to give other guys a few of my cleaning tips.  If you are a women reading this post, "Stop, turn away from the page" these tips are for men only................................................Ok, I think they’re gone so now I can continue.  My tips are listed below, you may want to cut them out and keep a copy in your wallet for future reference.

Man's Guide to Household Chores

Doing the dishes give you the most bang for the buck.  Walking into a kitchen where there are no dirty dishes gives an important illusion of total house cleanliness.  You have two options here doing the evening dishes while you wife is relaxing with a good book; this shows you are being helpful.  I prefer to wait until the next morning after my wife leaves for work, that way she comes back to see a clean kitchen.

Doing dishes is the most important chore and must be done everyday.  Why? because as I said above it gives you the illusion of a clean house.  So if this is the only task you get to do you'll show that you made he effort.  Cleaning the counters and table goes hand in hand with the dishes.  You are not looking for perfection, if you’re short on time because your tee time is drawing near, just clean the spaghetti spill, bacon grease or any obvious spots that would take someone’s attention away from your clean kitchen.

The next most important chore is cleaning the ceramic floors and vacuuming.  I lumped these together because I sweep the dirt from the ceramic tile on to the carpet, which I later vacuum up.  You caught what I said right!  I usually vacuum late in the day so there are still vacuum marks on the carpet, which shows you have vacuumed.  You may find a few dirt spots on the ceramic tile that can't be swept up so you could wash the floor, which is what most women would do but as a man I have an alternate suggestion.  Just get a wet rag scrub the few coffee stains or jelly spills from the tile and Voilà you have clean floor.

Actually, all the household chores can be performed late in the day. That gives you less time to screw up the house before your wife returns, which I find happens to me.

Vacuuming the carpeted steps.  I don't like this, it requires getting out the hose and other attachments, too time consuming.  What I prefer to do pick up the little threads, leaves, fuzz or anything on the carpeted stairs that doesn't match the color of the carpet.  You are likely up and down the stairs frequently throughout the day so every time you use the stairs pick up a few bits of fuzz and Voilà (I like the sound of that word) with very little effort the stairs will have the illusion of being clean.  If you come across a particularly tough ground in stain I suggest you use your fingernail and saliva which is your God given cleaning fluid.  You can't deny that everyone uses saliva to clean things.

I rarely dust unless the TV or cabinet looks like it changed color because of the dust accumulation, if that is the case I can use my shirtsleeve, which is readily available. This never happens unless Mimi’s out of town because she dusts regularly.

I will do laundry but my belief is that there is no reason to segregate whites from colors, haven’t we gotten past that.  Segregation has always been a big issue in the country so I decided to take a stand starting with laundry.  Maybe because of this Mimi has told me not to do the laundry.  Alright, if those are you wishes, I will comply.

I do know the fundamentals of ironing but it’s not my forte. There are a lot of settings on an iron, for cotton, linen, polyester and a few others that I have no idea what they’re for.  So for this reason I was instructed not to iron Mimi’s clothes, ok whatever you say. 

Sometimes I iron my own clothes but only when it’s absolutely necessary, like a polo shirt or dress shirt to where with a suit.  However I have a trick to ironing a dress shirt that you wear with a suit, just iron the collar and front because no ones going to see the rest of the shirt so they will assume it is ironed.  If for some reason you take you suit jacket off, complain loudly about how the jacket wrinkled your shirt.  It’s a believable story.

     So these are my tips for handling household chores, I hope they have been helpful.

Connecting with others

     Many of us seem to live in our own little worlds ignoring most everything in life that doesn't fit in our world.  That's unfortunate because we don't connect with others.  If it does not directly affect us we are unconcerned.  Truthfully, many things in life affect us in an indirect way and ignoring them won't make them go away.

     We have become so disconnected with others that we don't even realize it.  People will argue that social media keeps them connected which is true but only partially.  There is nothing like a face-to-face connection.  We have electronic devices that keep us informed but don't help us to connect in a deep personal way.  If society was more connected we would be more understanding a tolerant of others.

     I believe if we were physically tied to a different person everyday we would learn to get along.  Think about it, you would have to.  It would help you learn to negotiate, there would be no choice, you couldn't kill them because then you would have to drag a dead body around with you all day, that would slow you down.

     It would be interesting to see people of different social status, opinions or nationalities paired together so I would like to propose the first pair to be tied together, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton. Don't you think that would not only be interesting but beneficial in some way?  Let's add another log on to the fire so to speak by requiring the pair to show signs of being tolerant to each other before they would be untied.  How about an 80 year old tied to an 18 year old, two people who speak a different language tied together or Oh! Oh! Kanye West strapped to anyone but a Kardashian?  Sorry about that last pairing but I couldn't resist.  I'm sure there are many combinations of people that you might like to see tied together, the list is probably endless.

     I know this is a ridiculous idea but think about the benefits it might have by forcing people to connect with others.  So maybe a less drastic way to connect with others is just talking and listening to others even strangers on a daily basis.  Who would you be tied to and what would you learn from this experiment?  "Just Saying....."