To Judge or not to Judge

      No one wants to be judged by others, I hear it all the time.  People say don't judge me, you don't know me but What if your job is a Judge?  I think people mis-understand something.  Many times it's your actions are being judged not you as a person.  We have all made mistakes, possibly did something dumb that we regret and someone else likely judged those actions but it was the action not the person being judged.

     Whenever you go for a job interview you go knowing you are going to be judged, it's the same when you are up for a job promotion.  What about going on a first date, I suspect that both parties are judging each other by their actions.  If you hire a contractor you make a judgment before you choose one then again after the work us complete.  Let's say you get a recommendation for a restaurant, you will end up judging the meal, the service, the cleanliness and depending on the dining experience possibly the actual recommendation.   

     Now I agree that we often judge people wrongly, only to find out circumstances explain their actions.  However, I have to ask what would this world be like if no one was judged for their actions. Chaotic is the first thought I had, just imagine everyone would do whatever they wanted without consequences.  It seems obvious to me that you shouldn't judge people because of differences like race, religion, physical looks, ethnic traditions, etc.  However, judging people for their actions is necessary to live in a civilized society.  We all deserve second chances so it's important to understand that but if someone continuously makes bad decisions it is likely that you will be judged as well as your actions.  "Just Saying…”

Golf Tournament at Belk Park (Bubba's Practical Joke)

     I have always been just a casual golfer, enjoying the camaraderie with my buddies as much as the game.  Working at McDonnell Douglas/Boeing we had multiple tournaments scheduled during the summer months by the more avid golfers.  I prefer the scrambles but I was up for regular tournaments as well.

     I played at a traditional tournament at a Belk Park (in Illinois) for quite a few years by traditional I mean you have individual scores.  One summer in this tournament I played with Jerry N, Bill G, and our boss Del P.  We all had an equivalent ability level, which means we had no chance of winning anything other than an attendance prize. We played 18 holes and I believe my score was 129, color me terrible.  I don't remember the scores of my teammates but they were nothing to cheer about either.  It was a fun day despite the score. I had a few good shots a many bad ones, oh well!

     So, the following Monday at work I receive a phone call from a person claiming to be with Belk Park golf course asking me about playing in the tournament over the weekend.  He mentioned there was a complaint from another golfer that I had improved my lie on hole number 15.  I immediately became upset because I would never do that, and really what good would it do when you were as bad as I was.  So I said "If I was going to do that I would have had a better score than 129".  Just as I said that I realized I had been had by the notorious practical joker Greg M known as Bubba by everyone.  As he was laughing on the other end of the phone I was thinking he got me again.  I say again because this was just one one of the many jokes by Bubba I had succumbed too.  Maybe I was an easy mark but so were many others.  Bubba was well known for his practical jokes, he was truly a master and there was no one that was exempt from his taunts.  It's funny whenever you got had by Bubba everyone knew about it partly because you told them in most cases.  I guessed getting pranked by Bubba was like being inducted in to the "Good Ole Boys Club".


     It was all soon forgotten until one day about 3 months later I received a letter (see photo insert) post marked from St. Louis but with a return address in Illinois that stated all 4 of us in our foursome were banned from playing at Belk Park due to our caliber of play, the extensive delays we caused and unusual language used.  We would have an opportunity to appeal this decision if we made a request in writing to the "Board of Governors".  My immediate thought was Bubba was at work again, in a very elaborate way.  I immediately called Jerry to see if he received a letter, which he had as well as everyone else in the foursome.  I then called Bubba and he swore he had nothing to do with the letter, but I never fully believed that.  It was pretty funny and well thought out.

     So things went back to normal and it was about 6 or 8 months later that we received another letter again regarding from Belk Park, which reinstated our golfing status allowing us to play once again.  I again called Bubba and he still claimed innocence but I was still skeptical.  I thought maybe Bill H, (my boss who has dry sense of humor) might have been involved but he also denied it as well, so I was left with no answer to who was the comedic letter writer, I was however left with this great story.

     To this day I still do not know who wrote these letters but it's still funny and not knowing only makes it more interesting.

Dreams, Wishes and Expectations

    We have all had dreams in our lifetime sometimes many, big and small.  In my estimation dreams are extremely important because they fuel a desire for achievement.  Sometimes your dreams will become your passion.  If that happens consider yourself one of the lucky ones.

     Have you ever had a dream and kept it a secret because you didn't want to be ridiculed.  I'm sure many of us have so your not alone.  That's all right your dreams don't have to be shared until you're ready to share them but don't ignore them, pursue them.  If you never pursue your dream its not a dream, it's just a wish.  A dream has substance but a wish does not. What I mean by that is a dream possesses a value that will propel you forward to accomplish it whereas with a wish there is no motivation to take any action.  

     Your dreams may not be the expectations others have for you in fact many times you are pushed in the opposite direction of your dream because someone feels they know better for you.  Deep down you know yourself better than anyone else so focus on your dreams.  Others expectations of you, no matter how worthwhile will not fulfill your desires if they are not your dream.  Parents will have dreams for their kids, but don't let these cloud or overshadow your own dreams.

     Dreams can be realized at any age so don't write them off just because you are older, you’ve heard the saying “You’re never too old”.  I believe that, if you are older you’re unlikely to achieve the dreams you had as a youth but dreams are one of those things that are only limited by your imagination.  All of your dreams won't come true but if you never reach for them, none will come true.  Don't get discouraged if a dream of yours dissolves in front of you because there is endless supply of dreams, so simply choose another.

     Anyone can have dreams, actually everyone should have dreams, without dreams we are reduced to being survivalists. Everyone without exception can have dreams.  I have worked with some inspiring people born in undeveloped countries and their dream was to move to the US for a better opportunity which they did. If you were born in the US you are a step ahead of many so the journey of your dreams can start now.  

     I look at the world today and like most people I see too much violence, anger and unrest which shows people are unhappy, maybe if more people pursued their dreams life would be better for everyone.  Encourage others to pursue their dreams.  "Just Saying…"

Lost - Business Trip to Washington DC

     While working at McDonnell Douglas/Boeing, I made a number of business trips with various people sometimes even by myself.   One I remember well was a trip I took with Bret R and Bill H (our boss) to Washington DC.  In addition to being co-workers with Bret and Bill we were friends as well.   It was fun traveling with both Bret and Bill because they both had a great sense of humor but slightly different from each other.

     Bret was quick witted and had an excellent memory for jokes. Bill also had a good memory for jokes but he could also tell a meandering story that he seemed to make up as he went along never knowing when or how it would end.

     As I remember it we flew into Baltimore, picked up a rental to drive to DC.  These were the days before GPS so we had to rely on maps.  Bret was driving and Bill was in the backset so that left me as the navigator (big mistake).  Washington was south of Baltimore about an hours drive down a major highway, pretty hard to get lost.  The thing is I was never very good with understanding directions when someone would tell me go North, South, East or West (compass directions).  I’m more of a go left or right person; it requires much less thought.  I was in the cub scouts but not the boy scouts.  As a cub scouts we never went in to the woods just over to the Den Mothers house to make something out of spaghetti noodles.  So I blame my directionally challenged brain to the fact that I was never introduced to a compass.

     Funny thing about maps they use only compass directions.  One other I did when using maps was to orient them so the destination was always on top despite the compass direction, so even though our destination (Washington) was South, I held the map with Washington at the top.  Are you starting to see the basic problem?  So with me as the navigator we headed due North out of the Airport.  Did you catch that North, we were on the right highway but going the opposite direction.  After driving about ½ hour Bret says how much farther and I look at the map to try and see where we are by locating a town we just passed but nothing looks familiar.  That’s odd!  So I say, I think we’re good should be about ½ hour to go.  I’m fairly good with math, we drove for ½ hour so that leaves ½ hour for an hour trip.  After about an hour Bret says we should be here what’s going on?  I exclaim “I don’t know I can’t find these towns on the map”  With that Bret says ”You’ve got the map upside down, we’re going the wrong way.”  Hum, could that be, well yes it absolutely was, Opps. Well there were some stronger words used but you can make up your own.

    Here’s where things got a little tense, our 1 hour trip now turned into a 3 hour trip which was quite upsetting to Bret after all he was doing the driving but it was justified.  At this point I must tell you that I had never seen Bret upset about anything but I guessed I pushed him over the line.  Up until this time Bill was relatively quite sitting in the backseat relaxing but sensing the tension he began talking, actually it was more like a rambling story about his old hunting dog Blue.  At one point Bret asks him what was he talking about but Bill just kept rambling on with his story.  I don’t remember much about the story he told but it was the perfect moment for his goofy story.  He continued with this meandering story about his dog Blue on and off for the rest of the trip.  He was just making stuff up on the fly and talking in a slow methodical tone.  Well by the time we arrived at the hotel we were all laughing at Bill’s goofy disjointed story.

     Bill recognized the tension and knew he could use his humor to break through this tense moment.  It worked well, That's the thing about humor it can be used to defuse a tense situation.  Just to let you know we are all still good friends today.

Still Funny after All these Years

     People change as they age, it inevitable.  Your looks change, your muscle tone decreases, your hair turns grey (I prefer to call mine “light black”) and thins, etc.  There are however a few traits that seem to stay constant and sometimes improve, one of those is humor. 

     Age tends to slow us down in most areas but humor is an exception.  I was pulling into Home Depot parking lot when I saw a couple (Don & Ruth) leaving the store that I recognized from work, now both retired.  I knew the Don well since we worked together for a number of years.  Don was a really smart guy (retired Air Force Colonel) with a very dry sense of humor. His humor was so subtle that sometimes it took a few seconds for my brain to recognize the joke.

  

     Now I don’t know how old Don is but he retired from Boeing long before me so I suspect he is in his upper 70’s.  I noticed he was moving kind of slow compared to his wife but he’s retired so what’s the rush.  I roll down my window to talk to him as I come around the corner.  At this point it’s important to know that I am driving my alien green Kia Soul (see photo insert).  Now I have stumbled into Don on occasion when I’m out and about in St. Charles but it has been a while since I’ve seen him (maybe a year).   Anyway I yell “How are you doing, Don” and his immediate response was “Picked it before it was ripe, Huh”.  Well as my brain was processing his response I suddenly realized I was driving this bright green car that looked like an un-ripened apple, then I bust out laughing.  I was glad to see Don’s sense of humor was as sharp as ever.

     So you may run faster or jump higher but be careful you could lose a mental battle with a quick witted senior.  "Just Saying..."