Monday, August 4, 2014

Why Circus Performers would be Good Plumbers

     One of my least favorite repairs to do is changing the diverter on the kitchen faucet.  We have a Price Pfister kitchen faucet set, which is guaranteed for life.  That means when something breaks they will send you free parts, that's great but then I have to install them.  Price Pfister is a well-known brand but that's all I will say about that.

     Now I have changed the diverter (see photo insert) on this faucet at least 4 times since we install it.  You would think I could remember the removal and installation quirks after that many repairs.  Well, I do for a while but it’s such a frustrating experience that my mind keeps trying to erase these bad memories.  I retain these memories for a long while but eventually they are erased and that's the exact moment the diverter goes bad.


     Of course there's always a YouTube video to help you through the removal and installation process but they always have the faucet on their workbench while they videotape the process.  The video shows how easy it is and you actually see how the work needs to be done but it's being done on a work bench, I call foul.  I want to see the video with the guy resting his lower back on the ridge of the cabinet bashing his head on the top of the cabinet as he tries to snake himself in to the cavernous opening under the sink then cussing and screaming at the faucet because his back and head are hurting and the hoses won't come off the faucet.  Yea, that’s the video I want to see.


     Now I have learned a few things over the past repairs and that is to get the boat cushion out of the garage and throw it on the floor to support my back, plus you need a small flashlight that you can hold with your teeth so you can see the diverter.  Prior background as a circus performer would help as well, maybe a contortionist that would be ideal.

     The most useful thing I learned from the YouTube video was which way to push the locking device on the hoses.  This helps but being small (5' 6") it's hard to reach up between the two sinks with Cee Lo Green arms.  After finding the appropriate curse words I am finally successful at remove the diverter from the faucet.  Having done this before I did remember to turn off the water and I also knew there would be residual water coming from the faucet when I pulled the diverter off, I just didn't think it would flow out like a fire hose.  At this point I immediately grab for a towel (in the back of my mind I hear my wife saying don't use the good towel) but at this point I'm in recovery mode so anything will due.  So my advice is don't hang your cashmere sweater anywhere near the towel rack when I'm working on the faucet.  After sopping up the residual water I proceed to remove the hoses, ideally this would work best if you had 3 hands (reference circus oddities).  After twisting and tugging to my surprise the first hose releases, Ah Victory!

     After removing the first hose I find the second hose easier to remove but I’m just as surprised as the first when it releases.

      Now it must be time for a beer to celebrate this amazing achievement, Oh Yeah, I need to put it back together; wait just let me enjoy this moment for a minute.  Maybe I should buy a Miners helmet?

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