Baby Water and Bread Dip Spice

     I discovered a new product at the grocery store the other day. It was a new type of bottled water, not spring water, mineral water, well water, sparkling water, protein water or purified water but it was baby water sometimes called infant water. There seem to be an endless choice of juiced up waters available to us now so what benefit does baby water have over the others.

     So I asked a lady stocking shelves "What the hell is baby water?" I believe I used those exact words.

     She answered, "It's not for drinking but bathing."

     I laughed and said, "Do you sell senior water?"

     "Yes, it's called alcohol," she said.

     I laughed and dropped the rest of my questions. Not totally convinced she gave me the right answer I decided I would look into it later. If this new designer water is good for babies why isn’t it good for older adults. We shouldn't be cheated out of this innovative elixir.

     In the mean time I needed to get spices that you sprinkle into olive oil for dipping bread. It usually comes in a grinder, which is very convenient. So again I asked another employee about the spice grinder, and she looked at me like a puppy looks when they are puzzled. You know how they torque their head back and forth trying to understand what you're saying. It made feel like I was an alien with two heads speaking a language from another world or dimension.

     She took on my challenging question and roamed around the store in a futile attempt trying to fulfill my request for this spice grinder.

      I finally told her, "Don't worry about it. I can do without it but do you have baby water?"

     "Oh yes, it's on the end cap of aisle 17," she said.

     "Thanks," I said and walked away.

      From this encounter I conclude, baby water is something everyone requests but asking for a spice grinder is suspicious. It's apparent that you can never have enough varieties of bottled water. If you don't believe me just look at the store shelves and count the selections. I used to drink water from the garden hose. Hum, I wonder if they have hose water?

     That same day I researched baby water on a Google and found that it is for drinking not bathing, so the employee had that wrong. Apparently the water God put on this earth is tainted and can only be safely consumed by people over 60 years old.

     Maybe it's too late but I have a suggestion for a new type of water. I would like to see helium water. This could be a great item. Think of the benefits. If you knocked over a glass of water it would just float in mid air until you cleaned it up. It could be really good diet water. The more you drank the less you would weigh. Although I guess the side effect would be speaking in a high pitched voice like Pee Wee Herman. "I know you are, but what am I?"