Playing Chess with the old guy

"Your move, Captain Hook."

"My name's Stanley, not Captain Hook."

"Okay, Stanley Hook."

"No, not Stanley Hook, just Stanley."

"Fine, Just Stanley, still your move."

"Jeez, there I moved. How long have we known each other?"

“Long time, before you wore pirate clothes. Why?"

"Lots of changes since then...not all good." 

"Some people today have no conscience or patience."

"Tru dat, they expect too much. Your move."

"Yes, seems like everyone worships celebrities with fake lives."

"We need to give people more enemas. That would calm them down."

"I don't know about that Stan, but it might make them rethink their choices."

"Well, I never liked them, but maybe it worked, cause I turned out alright."

"You went through that pillaging phase, which wasn't your shining moment. Your move."

"Yeah, Mom and Dad straightened me out with that. Tough time, lots of enemas."

"So, why do you still wear the pirate clothes?"

"Today, pirates are viewed as glorified adventurers. They even have statues of them in the Caribbean."

"You mean no one's destroyed them yet?"

"No, why would they? It's history."

"Don't you watch the news? Historical monuments are being torn down all over the country."

"Why?"

"People are offended by them."

"That's whacked, they're just statues. So, if I'm offended by something, that means I should destroy it?"

"Like I said it's a different world today."

"Two words, more enemas."