It’s All About the Money

      9.5 million dollars, apparently that’s what an off-colored joke or comment is worth. CBS recently paid actress Eliza Dushku because she was uncomfortable with the remarks Michael Weatherby (Bull) made in between scenes.
      I struggle to understand how any joke or comment no matter how off-color could be worth 9.5 million dollars. It’s interesting how actresses are happy to do a nude sex scene but are offended by a dirty joke. Seems like a double standard. Here’s a clue, it’s all about the money.
     How many women have made off-colored sexual comments to a man? Do you ever hear of a man suing because he was offended by comments a woman made? If you want to hang with the big dogs maybe it’s time you put your big girl pants on and learn to laugh it off. 
     My one wish is that some famous rich woman would tell me a dirty joke, I too could use 9.5 million. That could be a new hashtag, #IToo. 
     Harassment is serious crime but so is fraud. “Just Saying . . .”
     

What’s wrong with living more responsibly?

     One of the big topics these days is about climate change and how we, the world population, contribute to the problem. There are two sides to the argument. One says human beings and their lifestyle are the reason for these changes. The other side says climate changes are exaggerated and that the changes occurring are not unusual and have little impact from humans.
     I’m not an expert but I see the pictures of polluted oceans and skies. Still I’m not sure how much of that contributes to climate change, but what’s wrong with us living as responsible individuals.
     Leave no trace is an guideline for outdoor ethics to promote conservation. It simply means minimize you negative impact on this earth by leaving only your footprints in nature.
     How much effort does it take to make responsible choices? How will this help I can’t answer? But I know it won’t hurt. There have been other times in history when pollution was worse and changes were made with a positive impact. Preserving our planet is worthwhile goal. Small changes to our lives will have a positive impact. How big is to be determined but isn’t worth the effort? “Just Saying . . . “

Do you have a chip on your shoulder?

     Life is different today than when I grew up. Today a lot of people have a chip on their shoulder with a short fuse to their emotions. I’m not saying things were perfect when I was young. Bad things happen in life, it’s not right but it’s that way because our planet is filled with people. Some will say, “I have no control over what others say.” That’s true but you can control your reaction.
     Some people are so easily offended it’s almost impossible not to touch their trip wire. Name calling is not new. The Polish, Jewish, Blacks, handicapped, short people, overweight people have all been on the butt end of a joke, or negative comment. There is really no one safe from harassment, but in order to survive you have to turn a blind eye toward these comments. Learn to laugh at the comments and own your differences. Be proud of who you are.
     Many people choose to be angry, but it’s just as easy to choose pride and happiness. Some say, “How can I be happy when negativity is thrust upon me?” First, take the chip off your shoulder and look at the positive side of life. I promise you taking a positive approach will change your life and others reactions toward you.
     That doesn’t mean you will be immune from harassment, but if you have a positive attitude you will be better equipped to handle it. All of us make thousand of choices daily, why not pick the positive ones. “Just Saying...”
     

Little Courtesies

     Are you an Ace or Ass? There are a lot of simple ways to be courteous to others with little effort on your part. Many of us do a lot of these like, hold the door for the person behind you, let the person with two items check out before you, help someone load a heavy item into their car, etc. Not doing these things doesn’t make you an ass, it just might be you are consumed with your own thoughts at the time and not aware of your surroundings. Wake up and join the world.

     Drivers darting and weaving through traffic like they’re driving a stolen car are the definition of an ass. They have an FU attitude and seem to care about nothing but their self. Merging on to the highway from an on ramp is not always easy when the access ramps are short. I’ve noticed some drivers will move to the left lane if it’s empty, to allow the cars entering the highway easier access, but some don’t. I’m not sure if the drivers that don’t move over are oblivious or just an ass. It’s a small gesture that cost you nothing but could prevent an accident. Legally the car entering the highway must yield to oncoming traffic, but there are situations when being courteous is the right thing to do even if it’s not legally required.

     In heavy traffic, when someone uses their blinker to signal a lane change you can be an ace by letting them in. But if you race ahead with the sole purpose of keeping them from getting in front, you may be in the early stages of assholeism. I see many more aces than I do asses, but I tend to remember the asses. Be attentive when you’re behind the wheel and drive like an ace. “Just Saying....”
 
   

Guilty by Accusation

     Thirty-six years. How good is your memory about something that may have happened that long ago? Science says our memories change over time and can’t be relied on for accuracy. Eye witnesses are are no longer considered to be unreliable sources.
     No one can justify sexual harassment but how can you explain a thirty-six year gap of silence.This period of silence begs many questions. Why has this memory resurfaced with clarity thirty-six years later? Who should we believe and why? How can the accusation be proven?
     The answers may never be found but in these times answers aren’t necessary. All that’s needed to destroy a life is to be accused of a crime. No trial required. The public will gladly be judge and jury on your future. In my America you’re innocent until proven guilty.
     I don’t know a lot about Brett Kavanaugh but I know less about his accuser. Thirty-six years. Can your memory be trusted? Just Saying...?

Put your Brain on Autopilot

     A human brain is an amazing thing. It can accomplish multiple task and direct your body to move and react with precision. Many of the things our bodies do, seem effortless. We react without thinking.  It could be the repetitive motion that we have done over and over has allowed our muscle memory to take some of these tasks. Muscles don't have memories, it's really your brain that trains the muscle to react a certain way when you perform a repetitive motion. Walking, jumping, catching a baseball, are all repetive motions that we learn to do and become second nature.

     Training your brain to be on autopilot is a great. We couldn't accomplish the things we have, if we had to consciously think about every movement we made. Having our brains take over the routine task makes us more productive. 

     This makes me wonder. Can we train our brains to do task incorrectly or not at all? I think the answer is yes. Imagine performing the same movement incorrectly hundreds and thousands of times, wouldn't this be training your brain to automatically perform this movement incorrectly. 

    Here's a simple example: We have turn signals (blinkers) on our cars but I've noticed a lot of people don't use them. Why? It could be that we have accidentally trained our brains not to use them. There's nobody behind me so why turn on the blinker. I'm in the left turn only lane, so I have to turn left. I'm changing lanes but I'm at a safe distance from the car I'm passing, it's not really necessary. Do you see where this is going? There are so many reasons people have to justify for not using turn signals that over time they train their brain not to use them. The autopilot in your brain says, "Blinkers must not be necessary since you never use them, so this function is turned off."

     It's that way with any repetitive act. We can train our brain to help us or harm us. One way to retrain your brain is by conscious effort until the brain learns the new way to perform the task. "Just Saying..."

Saturday Writers 2017 Anthology

Sins and Virtues Anthology Signing

Monday, July 9th 6:30 pm at Spencer Road Library

Registration Link

https://tinyurl.com/ydeqsc2k

Throughout the year Saturday Writers holds monthly writing contest. The winning stories go into a yearly publication of the clubs Anthology. I have one flash fiction story in the book. All the stories are from local writers.

 

The Anthology signing for our 2017 Anthology, Sins and Virtues, will be held at the Spencer Road Library, Monday, July 9, at 6:30 – 8:30 pm. Come out and help celebrate the release of our latest anthology which includes 83 stories, essays, and poems from 28 authors.

 

All guests are encouraged to register via the library link included.

Pre-registration helps the library determine the room size and aids their planning of the event. Come over and spend an evening with Saturday Writers, even if you forget to register, we’ll still try to find a seat for you.

The format for this year's signing will start with a Q&A panel and several readings. Participants for the panel and readings were selected based on the number of winning entries and have already been notified. We will end the night with a book signing that includes all attending contributors.

If you would like to buy a copy of the 2017 Anthology but won’t be able to attend the signing, click the link below.

http://saturdaywriters.org/2017-anthology.html

My 1st Car

     I learned how to drive in a 1959 Green Oldsmobile (4dr) (automatic) which was my Dad’s car. It was big and powerful but clearly a family car.  The next car my Dad bought was this really cool 1965 Canary Yellow Chevy Impala (2dr) (automatic) it did not look like a family car, it was sporty and I got to take to my Senior Prom.

     The 1^st car I bought was a 1958 Chevy Belray, maroon with black interior, 6 cyl with a 3 speed on the floor.  The previous owner was a kid so it needed some work.  The hood emblems (bull nosed) had been removed and body putty was used to fill the holes left by the rust then had the car cheaply painted.  He also moved the shifter from the column to the floor but he put it in backwards, 1^st was where reverse should have been but to complicate it more he put a 4 speed gear shift knob on the stick.  If you were not aware of that it was difficult to drive because of the shift pattern, it would have been a parking attendant nightmare. It also needed some engine work so my Dad had a buddy Leonard B that knew enough about cars to get it running smoothly, at least good enough to get to my Uncle Clarence’s Standard Station for more extensive work.  When it was in reasonable shape I took it over and made minor cosmetic changes like adding speakers, headrests, fuzzy dice, reverberation radio (poor man’s stereo).  

     This was my first car and it was a stick, which I wanted but I didn’t know how to drive it.   So Dad took me out to parking lots until I got good enough to go it alone but even when I did, starting on a hill presented a problem as a new driver of a standard transmission.  I remember driving around with the Bill L & Bill K when I drove down Goodfellow by the ammunitions plant, which had a hill, well as you might expect the light turned red and I had to stop.  Not to get sidetracked but when I was younger I thought the ammunitions plant was a blimp plant because it was oddly shaped with two huge winged shaped structures on the roof what I thought were doors that could open up to let the blimps out, that would have been more interesting but sadly I was wrong.  
     Anyway back to the real story, I killed the engine several times trying to pull away from the stoplight and each time I failed both Bills would roar with laughter, which just made it more difficult since I started laughing as well.  I can’t remember how many stoplights change before I got up that hill but it was many (possibly 8 or 9).  That’s what teenage boys did anytime there was an opportunity is give the other guy a hard time. This time it was my turn to be harassed and for a split second my reaction was to get mad but it was just too funny to keep from laughing.  At this age I was hanging out more with Bill L and Bill K more than the Pamplin boys.  We used to ride around through Steak n Shake (Jennings or sometimes Circle Steak) kinda like American Graffitti (some minor street drag racing) but not quite as exciting, always looking for damsels in distress but never finding any.  We still hung out with the Pamplin boys playing football, baseball etc. but we went to different high schools so things started to change a little. 

    This was my 1st car so I learned how to do some repairs and modifications because it always seemed like it needed some work or I wanted to change something on it.   My ‘58 had a cloth headliner, which after a few years would break loose from the metal rods stretching from on side to the other, so you would be driving and the headliner would fall down draping the top of your head.  This was annoying but you saw it all the time and it could easily be fixed which I did. After a few years of dodging the headliner that repeated fell down and finally learning to master standing hill starts I went in search for a new car with Dads help.

Always Amazed, Rarely Surprised

     I logged on to Facebook this morning, which is part of my normal routine. I like to read some of the funny stories or cartoons that people post. Sometimes I see a recipe which looks good, like this morning. It was Lemon Garlic Butter Steak with Zucchini Noodles which looked and sounded really good so I clicked the link. The ingredients for the recipe included low sodium chicken stock, which is common for many dishes.

     I am always amazed how a simple post, even about a beef dish goes off the rails so quickly. A woman commented about how ridiculous it was to use chicken stock for a beef dish. Someone else suggested she substitute a different stock. She responded saying that she is allergic to chicken and can't even go to restaurants anymore because they all use chicken stock then told the person to stay off her post. Another person responded telling her to modify the recipe or don't make it but stop complaining. The conversation took a deep dive in to the rabbit hole of hate after that. As a side note, I did not participate in the comment section, they was no point, no one was open minded enough to listen.

     Amazed but not surprised because hateful things are said all the time on the Internet without repercussion. You're protected by anonymity, so you believe the rules are different. Some of the comments made would never be said in a face-to-face conversation, so why is it deemed acceptable on Facebook or other similar venues. It's not acceptable, hateful speech is never acceptable because it's never productive.

     Although I'm always amazed what some people will say in social media, I'm rarely surprised because I've been conditioned to understand that people will say hateful things about even benign topics, like recipes.

     By the way here's a link to the recipe without the comments.
http://thefoodiebunch.com/lemon-garlic-butter-steak-with-zucchini-noodles/

     It sounded really good to me and not extremely complicated but I'm sure there are those that would disagree. "Just Saying..."
   

Lost Souls, Wasted Lives

     It happens every time there’s a mass shooting. Arguments about guns and mental illness are debated as the reason for the shootings. Anyone that believes there is one answer to solving these tragedies doesn’t understand the problem. At first the problem seems easily identified but the mass shootings are just the results of the problem. I struggle to come up with answers for all the issues we have today.

     Both guns and mental illness have been around for many years, but only in the last twenty years have mass shootings become routine. Something changed thirty years ago, and we need to recognize that it may take a long time  to fix the issues, but we need to start now.

     So what’s changed in thirty years? Let’s take a look.

CNN the first 24-hour news started in 1980.    

Constant news updates became the norm both on television and the Internet desensitizing the public to violence. This may not have been intentional but due to constant exposure of these mass shootings.

AR15 first sold to the American consumer around 1989.

The Columbine school shooting took place in 1999 and these sort of tragedies are becoming more frequent. Males have predominately been the violent perpetrator of mass killings and many use the AR-15 assault rifle.

Mortal Combat video game was first released in 1992.

Video games turned the violence into a game that targeted young males. The electronic world blurred the lines of the real world further desensitizing society.

Motorola introduced the first mobile phone in 1973. The iPhone, the first smartphone, was launched in 2007 to great success, followed by many Android phones.    

Smartphones have reinforced our disconnection to society. We can get news, play games, bully others and text without having eye-to-eye contact. We have become more impersonal with others.

Over medication of our society is due in part to the easy access to prescription drugs.

There are more ads about mental illness than ever before. Are there more mentally unstable people now than in the past? If so, why? How many people have mental issues? To what degree? How do you recognize a mentally unstable person?

     Parenting has changed as well. Many young parents approach parenting as if their child is their friend, defending them even when they are wrong. It's important to be a parent not a friend in your child's formative years. The first gamers are now becoming parents so their view of gaming and life is different. Have parents become weak? Weak parents will produce weak children.

     This constant exposure to violence through news, movies and video games plus the availability of high-powered weapons has had a devastating effect on our behavior. Males quickly took to these violent video games while females played more social video games. Feminist groups support young women but what groups support young males? Young men need to know they can be masculine with out violence.

     Recent studies show females are now catching up to the males in the violent video game genre. What does this mean for our society?     

     There are many questions on how to curb violence in our society, so how can there only be one answer? There's not.

     Stricter gun laws are needed that protect the public not just the 2^nd amendment. Politicians need to support the citizens, not the lobbyists.

     US citizens need to cut back on the 24-hour news because it’s detrimental to a happy life. It’s unlikely that the news media will reduce coverage.

     We all need to try to better understand mental health and the causes. Congress spends money freely, how about putting more toward treating mental illness.

     Parents need to take on the responsibility for their family and not expect a pill to solve the problem. Our over medicated society brings about personality changes. It will take better parenting, by interacting with you children daily and monitoring their choices.     

     It will take a long time to make significant strides toward eliminating mass shootings. There is no quick fix or simple path.

     This is an elephant size problem and the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. I’m good 
with the first bite being to the ban the AR-15 assault weapon. "Just Saying…."

Who Runs the Government?

     Right now most people will say the government is in the hands of the Republicans. Prior to the last election the Democrats (Obama) ran the government for 8 years. Before that Bush a Republican then Clinton a Democrat each ran the country for 8 years. These are the facts as we are made to believe. The truth is not always obvious.

     The lobbyist and special interest groups run the USA and the biggest lobby is the NRA. Columbine was the first of the school shootings and they have been increasing with more frequency, not just in schools but at concerts, churches and nightclubs.

     It’s easy to blame Trump, our current president, but it’s been going on since the Clinton administration and nothing has been done. I believe Trump was elected to send a message to all politicians that the American public was fed up and we want change. I want our president to do something to prevent the next shooting but I don’t believe it will happen.

     I support hunters and those that want a gun for self-protection but the AR15 assault weapon was designed as a military weapon. It’s not a hunting rifle. There is no reason for the American public to have such a weapon. It is not your right to have an assault weapon. The NRA preaches lies, when they imply any restrictions to the 2nd amendment will eventually lead to all guns being taken away from the public.

     Laws need to be put in place to protect US citizens from these overzealous gun advocates that believe any laws restricting gun possession is negative. The responsibility of change lies on us, the American public because our representatives answer only to the NRA. Vote politicians out of office that don’t act on our behalf. Demand term limits because holding a political office was never meant to be a lifelong job.

     In a matter of weeks we will start to forget about the Florida school shooting, not because we are callous. We simply move on because life moves on and deep down we don’t believe anything will change. We forget quickly and too easily because it hurts to remember. Let’s be warriors for our children by not forgetting this terrible tragedy but taking action to make changes. Let the Florida school shooting be memorable for changing our nation’s direction by implementing rational gun laws.

     We need to put control of the US government back in the hands of the American public. "Just Saying...."

The Old Man's Advice

     "Sit down, let's talk for a bit. Tell me how things are going. This old guy wants to know."

     "Well. there's a lot going on and sometimes I feel guilty not doing more." Young Bobby said. " I see news stories about tragedies and how people help by donating money on their time, but I haven't done as much as they have."

     The old man scratched his head and said. "Those people are to be admired but it's not something that all of us can do. Don't judge yourself to others standards. We can't all be hero's. We don't have to be, but we all have an impact on life. The best you can do is make it positive."

     "But how can I do that?" Questioned young Bobby.

     "Small gestures, kind words and smiles can have as great an impact on society as stacking sand bags to protect a house from flooding. All of us have time to do small favors for others throughout the day." The old man smiled.

     "I still don't know what you mean. Can you be more specific?"

     "Think about what you do throughout the day, Bobby." The old man continued. "Everything you do requires a decision. Think about others when you make that decision. Be considerate to others when driving, stop to help a handicapped person carry groceries, pick up trash, strike up a conversation with a stranger. There are a million small things you can do to make life a little better."

     "Okay, I think I get it, change the way I look at life. So I need to look for opportunities to help people in small ways."

     "Yes, exactly. You don't need to set aside a certain amount of time to help others. You need to incorporate that into your daily life. Small positive gestures add up to big changes." The old man winked at Bobby.

     Looking enlightened Bobby said. "Sometimes you old guys are smarter than you look." Laughing he continued. "You should probably quit smoking though."

     The old man shook his head and smiled. "You're right, that's good advice. I guess we can learn from each other." As he reached for the ashtray to snub out his cigarette butt.

     

     

More Banks than Bars

     Have you ever noticed how many banks there are? I'm talking about brick and mortar buildings not online banks. It seems like every time I drive down the street and see new construction, it’s a bank. How often do people go to a bank these days with all the online banking, direct deposit and automatic deduction? I go, maybe twice a year, usually to turn coins into paper money or deposit some cash, but truthfully I could eliminate those trips. 

    

     Last week, while we were on our way to a birthday party we counted the banks in a 3-mile section of highway K. Our count reached fifteen without even considering the banks inside 3 grocery stores. Here's the list: two Regions Bank (because ones not enough), Bank of Franklin County (O'Fallon's not in Franklin county), BMO Harris Bank (somebody named Harris opened a bank???), Commerce Bank, Midland Bank, Great Southern Bank (I guess we're considered the south), Reliance Bank, Bank of America, Alliance Credit Union, American Eagle Credit Union (no clothing there), American Bank of Missouri, US Bank, St. John's Bank (not in St. John's either) and PNC. As you can see I included two credit unions, but aren't they really the same as banks.

     One conclusion I can draw from this is that the people in O'Fallon are rich, extremely rich. I have not yet to count the banks on a 3-mile stretch of road in Town and Country or Ladue, but it's hard to believe there could be more than fifteen. Maybe in those communities the citizens are so rich the bankers actually drive to your house and do the transactions, so there's not a need to have as many brick and mortar bank buildings.

     Another conclusion is that banks must be making a ton of money if they can build all these freestanding buildings. When have you heard of a bank going bankrupt or bar for that matter? I guess it happens but rarely. What do the bank employees if no one walks in the door? I'm sure they have business to conduct but do they really need a big expensive brick building to do it.

     Since we live in a multi task world why don't we combine banks and bars. It would make better use of the buildings and give the banks employees something to do with their free time. I think there would be more traffic at the banks. Imagine going into a bank to negotiate a loan, while having a glass of Amber Bach. Interest rates wouldn't be quite as important.

     The advertising would be changed forever. Bank billboards might say "Wine and cheese party with every loan closing." I know this sounds ridiculous and it is but isn’t fifteen bank buildings in a 3-mile stretch also kind of crazy. “Just Saying….”