Squirrel

I had setup an interview with the lady who ran a retirement home. Her name was Shirley. Since it was a nice day we decided we would do the interview outside in the garden.

     “Tell me Shirley, what is the most difficult part of running a home like this?”

     “Well, that’s easy. You become attracted to the people who live here, so —Squirrel.” Shirley pointed to the squirrel that was running up the tree trunk. Then she continued the conversation without missing a beat. “when they pass it’s really difficult. It’s almost like a close relative has died.”

     I ignored the random comment about the squirrel and asked a second question. “What is the favorite activ—.”

     “Squirrel.”

     I tilted my head and started again. “The favorite activity of the residents?”

     “We’ll, that’s more difficult — Squirrel, — since we have so many. I think going to an outside activity like a ball game would be on top. She turned her head toward the bird feeder. “Squirrel.”

     “You seem to be fascinated by the squirrels. Tell me about that?”

     Shirley frowned. “What makes you say that?”

     “You keep mentioning them.” 

     “When? I’m not sure —Squirrel, Squirrel— what you’re talking about.”

     I decided to change the subject. “What’s your background? How did you end up running a retirement home?”

     “I worked at a taxidermist. Very interesting,” Shirley whipped her head around “ —-Squirrel—- but the owner was weird, kind of squirrelly, you know?”

      “Yes, I’m getting a sense of what you’re talking about.”

      Shirley stood up. “Thanks for coming over, but I need to break now. It’s time for my morning snack. I have a strict regimen with my diet.”

      “I understand it has been very interesting. What is your usual snack?” 

      “Nuts . . . I like nuts. You really can’t have too many. I never seem to get enough.”

      “Perfect.”