My Philosophy

I believe in God, but I don’t believe my God has to be yours. If your God makes you a better person you’re on the right path.

In life there are the rich, poor and in between. There always was and there always will be. We should help others when we can, but it’s not the obligation of society to equalize life. Individuals are expected to take responsibility for their own lives.

People make mistakes, everyone does. It’s how you grow and learn. Mistakes should be forgiven as long as the person shows they are still learning.

There are repercussions and rewards in life. Each are valuable if it gives you a learning experience.

Don’t be fooled by passing fads. People or groups will try to guilt you into changing if you have a different viewpoint. 

Change is not bad, but that doesn’t mean change is always good. 

Your rights do not supersede another’s rights. All people have value including unborn children.

Children need firm guidance but with kindness. They are individuals, but also a reflection of yourself. Children perpetuate life, we need them. Boys and girls become men and women we need both. There was no mistake in your birth, you were born the way you were meant yo be. Don’t over think it.

Be kind to others no matter the choices they’ve made.

Enjoy life. No one knows for sure what comes next.

Babysitting Through the Eyes of Papa

Vacation duty: Three days on and three days off watching the grandkids (5 & 2). Sounds doable. We wake them up, feed them, take them to school, pick them up after school, feed them again, give them a bath, and put them to bed. That’s the basic plan, although there are variations to it, but how hard can it be? I’m a fully grown adult with many life skills, so the little ones just need to learn who’s the boss. 

Mimi and I are watching them at their house to make it less disruptive for them. Sure, we’ll sleep in an unfamiliar bed with different house noises, but it’ll be fine. Oh! They have a dog, Reeces, but she’s fifteen, so we won’t be chasing her around. They also have that Alexa machine thing. It turns on the lights and white noise. Actually, it does many things, I’m told. This may be easier than I thought. I’ll have time to do more writing.

Our day starts in the afternoon. Our first job, is picking up the kids from school. They attend two different schools. Stella’s school is down the street, walkable. Henry’s is a fifteen-minute drive in good traffic. Since we leave at the same time, I dropped Mimi off at Stella’s school then I drive to Henry’s school to pick him up. It’s important to note you can’t just wait outside for them to rush out the door. No, no, you have an app on your phone. This allows you to check them in/out if you are on their pickup list. No problems there; we are list approved.

GPS took me to Sprout, the daycare school. I successfully navigated the app and checked Henry out of school, then put him in his $500 car seat. Henry immediately yelled, “Where’s Mimi?”

“Papa’s here. Mimi’s at home with Stella.” 

The young girl at school handed me a bag of soiled clothes and said, “Henry had an accident.”

“

I’m sorry; I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” That was a lie. He really didn't care.

The drive home was uneventful aside from the crazy-ass drivers that you have to deal with, but that is now the norm. We arrived home safe, and as I pulled into the driveway, Henry yelled, "Mimi."

I pop him out of the car, and he ran into the yard to play with Stella on the swing set. Mimi and I spend the next half hour with the kids in the yard then dragged them in the house for dinner. We let Reeces out to do her business. She came back in and pooped on the floor in five different spots. Oh, joy! I explain her behavior to Mimi by saying she's old, deaf, and probably doesn't know what she just did. 

I yell. "Alexa, pick up the dog poop."

"I'm sorry I don't do that. I can call a service." Alexa responded.

"No, we'll get it." Mimi cleans it up before the kids run through it. 

Henry screams for a snack. I tell him. "No, it's too close to dinner.." He screams louder. 

Stella grabs a snack and tells me. "These are healthy snacks." Henry shrieks. I gave Henry a snack.

Dinner is served. We have spaghetti. Stella promptly tells us not to cook hers. What the hell does that mean? We find out that means she likes it cold, so we let it sit on the counter until it meets her criteria. 

Henry stirs it around, spills it on the floor, then knocks over his milk. Stella moans about the hamburger in the spaghetti. "I don't like hamburger."

I know it's only a few days ago, but I don't remember what they actually ate that night. Dinner's over, and it's playtime before bath. Bedtime can't come fast enough. They bathe together because it's easier (misleading term) then they brush their teeth. Bath time is a struggle because Henry is tired, and Stella lollygags. 

Mimi got a phone call as Henry ran out of the bathroom. He went into Stella's room and found her makeup. Without going into detail, let me just say he was prepared to play the part of Joker in Batman. 

After the bath, Stella dresses herself and set her school clothes out for school the next morning. Sounds easy when you say it fast, but it could take twenty minutes. Finally, she's dressed after I repeatedly tell her to put pajamas on. In the meantime, Mimi gets Henry ready for bed, simple words but not a simple task.

Stella turns on all the white noise stuff, then we read each of them two books. Henry goes to bed easily most nights; thankfully, this is one. Stell goes to bed without any issues, but she gets up often with a list of reasons why she should stay up.  She’s a negotiator. 

By 8:30 pm, Stella finally gives up and stays in bed. Now we have alone time. I tell Alexa to turn on the family room lights. She answers. "I don't have family room lights. What lights would you like switched on?"

"The light right over my head - Dumbass." 

Alexa answered, "I can't see, so I don't know what you're talking about. Now, who's the dumbass?"

"Can you turn the lights on in the living room or family room? Maybe just turn on all the friggin lights on in the whole friggin house."

"That's not a command I have. Sounds like you have some anger management issues. I could sign you up for a class."

"No, thanks. There's a light by the couch. Can you turn that on?"

"Oh! The couch light. Of course, couch light on. See, that's all you needed to say."

“Yay!”

Reeces has been circling around the family room since 9:00 p.m. wanting to go to bed, but she wants us to go as well. Finally, at 10:00 p.m., we headed to bed. We’re both exhausted and welcome the rest. Reeces sleeps in a dog bed in our bedroom. 

Mimi and I both sleep well, but I got up in the middle of the night only to find that Reeces moved from her bed to the middle of the room, directly into my path to the bathroom. Enough said; it was noisy with lots of yelping, but she moved back to her bed. 

I’m an early riser, so I got up at 6:00 a.m. and made coffee. Mimi normally sleeps longer, but this week is not normal, so she was up by 6:30 a.m. She was quick to inform me that Reeces pooped again. 

“Great! Where? I don’t see it.”

“By her dog bed. She must have pooped in her sleep.”

“Wonderful! Sleep poop, I didn’t know that was possible.” I sipped my coffee. “Alexa, can you help us out here?”

“Certainly, couch light on.”

“Never mind.”

Stella got up at 7:00, and Mimi brought Henry down at 7:15. Mimi asked Stella what she wanted for breakfast. I said, “She’s getting waffles.” I threw two waffles in the toaster, one for each kid.

When they popped, I buttered them, cut them up, and poured on syrup. That was easy, I thought. 

Stella informed me that there was not enough butter on every piece. I explained that it was because it melted. Apparently, that was not the right answer. I rebuttered her waffle. Henry dropped his on the floor and screamed. I told him once it’s on the floor, it belongs to Reeces.

Stella asked for another waffle, and Henry ate a banana. When breakfast was over, Mimi dressed Henry for school. Stella was already dressed because she chose her school clothes the night before. We got in the car about 7:45. I dropped Mimi and Stella at her school. It was close so Mimi could walk home while I took Henry to daycare. All the way to daycare, Henry yelled, “Mimi.”

I checked him in without issues, then drove back to the house. We were free until 5:00 p.m. When I arrived back home, Mimi said, “We need to clean this place up.”

I said, “Alexa, clean the house.”

“I’m sorry I don’t clean, but I can call a maid service.”

“So, what good are you? All you do is turn on lights.” I shook my head. “I can turn on lights.”

Alexa questioned. “Oh! Really. Can you now? Couch light off.”

“Wow, bitch!”

 

 

Bodega

I was watching FBI when I heard the term bodega. I liked the sound of the word. So I decided I would write a story using that word and others that have an origin from another country. Even though these words don't originate from the US, they are frequently used, and many people are familiar with them. Below is a list of the words I decided to use in my story with a definition. 

     As I wrote the short story, it became apparent that it would be extremely short, so I wrote a drabble which is exactly 100 words, not including the title. The drabble is a way of testing the author's ability to write a brief, interesting story. It's not an easy task, but it's a good exercise. 

Bodega is a small grocery store, especially in a Spanish-speaking neighborhood.

Piazza is a market or a public square, especially in an Italian town.

The veranda is a roofed platform outside a house that is level with the ground.

Digits can be fingers.

I ambled down the path. I walked down the trail. 

 

I boogied until dawn. I danced the night away. 

Baguettes are long loaves of french bread and also a diamond cut.

 

Gem usually refers to a diamond. 

Crepe is a thin pancake.

Croissant is a flaky crescent-shaped bread roll.

A patisserie is a bakery or pastry shop.

Brekky is a British breakfast.

A bistro is the same as a diner.

 

The following is my drabble using the words from the above list.

Perfect Day

It was a bright, crisp morning, perfect weather to have my brekky on the veranda. I wandered into a daydream while tapping my digits on the table. A trip to the bodega was the planned event of the morning. I ambled down the path toward the piazza to purchase a baguette and croissant from the patisserie. The aroma of the crepes and spiced latte from the bistro filled the air with a bouquet of enticing fragrances that lingered. 

That night was special as my wife, and I boogied until dawn. The stars shined like gems in the clear night sky.

 

328

Tax time isn’t something I look forward to, but having them down by a professional lessens my worries. I get my taxes done at Sederburg’s on walk-in Tuesday. My wife says that’s not right. It would be alliterative if it was walk-in Wednesday. No argument there, but it wasn’t my call.

So yesterday I left home early to get my taxes prepared. It’s on a first come first served basis. I arrived at at 6:50 am and to my surprise I was first in line. Doug arrived right at 7:00 am. He works at Sederburg’s and I have known Doug for many years as we are both members of  Saturday Writers. Doug allowed me to come in as long as I didn’t start a fight. I agreed since Doug is twice my size and younger. 

The first thing I did was sign the log in sheet. I chatted with Doug and another guy named Ben who came in right after me. Shortly thereafter an old couple entered. I say old because I’m 74 but they were older. They immediately went the counter to sign the log, obviously not there first time at walk-in (non-alliterate) Tuesday.

The old gentleman stood silent as his wife grabbed a pen and proceeded to fill in the log. It was early so the old guy looked like he could have been sleep standing (a skill older people have mastered). The wife muttered the numbers 328 to no one in particular or at least that’s what I thought. Her husband unmoved by her comment stood tall and quite. And no one responded regarding her comment and why would anyone, after all it wasn’t a question. A few seconds later she repeated the numbers, 328. This time her husband eyes glazed over and his lips quivered as if he was about to speak but no words came forth. 

Then the wife again repeated the number 328 but with a louder and more demanding tone. There was barely any time to respond before she said it a forth time immediately following with the words, your cell phone. That’s when the husband recognized that it was a question he was expected to answer. 

This is a familiar scenario many older couples can understand as they too have had a partner do the same. After telling this story to my wife we have now adopted the phase 328. We now use it anytime we don’t understand what the each other is saying. It’s very efficient and more pleasant than saying, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just Saying . . .”

Factory Settings

I’ve heard many times that if you have a problem with appliances or electronics the easiest way to solve the problem is to reset the appliance back to the original factory settings. It seems like a good solution since you have probably struggled trying to fix the issue in other ways without success. 

     It’s the perfect backup plan when all else fails. Knowing this gives you some peace of mind. So, Mimi and I were discussing the aches and pains that come with aging. We decided that the best thing to do is have our bodies reset to the original factory settings. It doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request since we’ve done our best to stay healthy by exercising and eating right. Factory setting are a fail safe.

     So please accept this post as our official request to give our bodies a complete factory reset. And as we all know there have been a number of changes since we first arrived, so if you can please include all the software upgrades that would be appreciated. “Just Saying . . .”

Notice to Grocery Stores

I want to put all grocery stores on notice. Your top shelf is high, especially when the items are all in the back. I’m 5’5” so I can reach the items in the front, but many times the front of the top shelf is barren. It’s likely that you’re store is short on staff so I get that you can’t have a person running around the store pushing all the items to the front of every shelf. 

     Let me tell you about old people. We find a way to get things done. Always have, and always will, road blocks are no big thing. So if you see an old person climbing up the shelves to get their favorite Italian soda, don’t look surprised. Yes, I agree it’s not the smartest thing to do, but remember what I said earlier, we find a way. 

     Now I have a solution, have a few step stools strategically placed around the store. Seniors could use those to get their favorite item from the top shelf.  Yes, of course your lawyers won’t like it. They’ll say that it will only encourage people to use them and it could be dangerous if they fall. The store could be sued. Also true, but if they fall off a display while scaling the shelves, the store could also be sued and it would be a more interesting lawsuit.

     Old people do what old people do. Not to say it’s always a good choice, but it’s worth knowing. Getting step stools is a better choice, because there’s a good chance that old lady climbing the shelf has Morgan and Morgan on speed dial. “Just Saying . . . “

Special Parking Spaces

This morning my wife asked me to go to the grocery store and pick up a few items. Sure, I'll be happy to stop at the Bodega (I'm trying to use more interesting words). She gave me a short list, and I drove off to fill her order.

As I pulled into the parking lot of Schnucks, I drove around looking for the closest spot to the entrance. The best spots were for the handicapped, which is understandable. Hmm, I guess saying handicap is no longer acceptable. I think disabled is the proper word now, but how is that better? It's all very confusing. As I turned down another aisle, there were spots for both Wounded Warriors and Maternity, and who would argue with that. There were also numerous spots for Online Pickup and one for Employee of the Month (recognition for a job well done). 

Screw it. I'll just park on the far side next to the sign. You know, the spot no one wants. I walked to the entrance, dodging shopping carts randomly parked anywhere, because it's too hard to take them to the corral. I waited patiently as guys with big ass trucks decided to back into a parking spot. I suppose everyone would like a fast getaway after they paid $6.00 for a gallon of milk. I walked past cars angled across two parking spaces. Thanks for that. Remember me, I'm parked by the Schnucks sign. 

I finally get to the Bodega (remember, I'm using fancy words) and made my purchases. I pushed my cart to my private Schnucks sign parking spot and unload. Just a note for those of you that have never used the sign parking, there are no cart corrals anywhere near. I could leave the cart on the grass by the sign, but that seems wrong, so I push it back toward the corral when I see someone getting out of their car. They probably need a cart, so I'll offer mine to them. It will save time for both of us, win, win. 

But, she said. "Did you sanitize it?"

"Lady, I parked by the sign. Do you see any of the sanitizers over there?" I pointed to my car.

She squinted. "I can't see that far."

"Nevermind." Then I proceeded on my original path to the corral.

I had no more issues as I returned to my car, except for the two near misses from cars racing down the aisle competing for an open parking spot.

I left the parking lot, and I decided to stop at Home Depot, it's close so I could run in and get some light bulbs without wasting another trip. As I drove into the HD lot, I again searched for a spot to park. They too, have reserved spots for special customers, one for Contractors, another for Ladies Only (WHAT?), and one for a Green Vehicle (Now, my KIA Soul is alien green, but it's not EV). Below the large letters, it said EV Only, so not for my alien green Soul. I decided it wasn't worth the trouble, I mean we have flashlights, so we didn't need no stinking light bulbs. 

As I drove home I thought of a another special space the businesses could reserve. How about making a super wide space for people who can't fit their car between the two white lines. There are people already taking up two spaces anyway so just make it legal. The sign could read, "For People who are terrible at parking".  

Maybe there could have a shuttle to pick up the people that park by the sign and drop them off at the front entrance. "Just Saying . . ."